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Shitty Review Standards
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:28 pm Reply with quote
Suislide
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Because even we have standards here:

Quote:

> Graphics(9.8/10): I have to be Honest here this is one of the BEST looking games I've ever played on my PC ! At max settings this looks Superb and it also has AMD support



This is how a Hitman Game should look like !



but i still have some problems with the graphics its always so bright there's so much bloom in this game... it needs that "normal" look of blood money

-----------------------------------------------------



> Sound(7/10): Good voice acting and overall "Okay" BGM though i don't find it as intense as the previous game's BGM



-----------------------------------------------------



> Gameplay(7/10): This is where the Game screws my head some implemented mechanics are good and some are not



I'll start by listing the No of changes made in this game



-----------------------------------------------------



> The Game is unnecessarily focused on the story (I NEVER liked this series for its story but for its gameplay like DMC)



I don't know WHY they had to fill the game with nonsensical cut-scenes it just seems like a Uncharted wannabe i honestly don't give a fu*k about the story i just want to play and enjoy an art of a game where only the brush talks held by the player



-------------------------------------------------------



> 3rd person "Behind the shoulder" perspective and lack of a genuine map



(No need for Stupid magic vision ! Look at your GPS Dumbass 47!)



Hitman was never about taking cover and shooting your enemies it was about exploring&Observing your environment and waiting for a chance to strike avoiding any company as much as possible



In 3rd person its really not easy and that's why you have that stupid feature from Arkham city/assassins creed "X gay cheat vision"



I wouldn't be complaining at all if they didn't include X-ray magic cheat vision and gave me an option to freaking Zoom out to look at the environment and aim with my genuine mouse precision



----------------------------------------------------------



> So much Unrealistic/Action movie in this game



The Beauty of Hitman games used to be its cold realism&ruthless nature



The gameplay was so elegant.. now its just broken down to linear set pieces of mazes like arkham asylum rather then a BIG area to explore and experiment



I admit i'm not a pro Hitman player i got my ass kicked in Pro mode trying to get a better rank but that was FUN ! this game doesn't let you do that anymore.. because it feels so dang linear i guess that's why they removed the map because they made it so linear gameplay wise



You get that Slow-mo feature from Max payne3 or splinter cell Conviction where you just slow down time in shootout and this makes it even easier by just making multiple targets automated



LIKE WTF ? how does Hitman slowdown the time and shoot 10 people in the head simultaneously?



Checkpoint system.. why ?



You can now hide a 7 inch Sniper in you JACKET !



You no longer need to carry it in a box or hide is somewhere you have "Magical pockets"



You Regenerate Health ! like call of duty...



They screwed up Hitman's character too made him into a typical emotional docuebag



QTE's WHY ?? that **** doesn't belong anywhere else but god of war and shemune !



----------------------------------------------------



> No more Creativity or fun in assassinations anymore



The very reason why i left Assassins creed series is because its assassination sucked and lacked any kind of "Assassin" depth the first game had a neat concept of surveying the area and waiting for the orders to strike but then it was just made into an action game



This game shows the same problem it dwells too much on the action side missing out the creativity of the older games



The A.I is kinda dumb like from Arkham city of course they maybe better in harder mode but in normal they're retarded as hell and to top it all off there are bins everywhere like haystacks in assassins creed



The targets die in cutscenes.....



FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WHY ? IT USED TO BE SO FUC***NG satisfying to just bully your target and freaking headbuttt that motherfker to death Or just watch that sun of a gun die in your ingenious trap !



DANG FUK WHY ? dat wuss so kool !



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> Final Verdict(7/10): Square Enix go back and make final fantasy game No 300



Don't make Hitman games... you can't make a good hitman game as a hitman game i'd give this a 4/10



I Like this game NOT as a Hitman game but as a linear 3rd person shooter with set pieces it just uses hitman's elements and puts them into a 3rd person shooter because this game FORCES you to fight the disguises don't work you'll often run into enemies many times you'll just have to kill kill kill



geez when i come to think about it many games in next-gen transition has lost its value



I hate to say this but DmC is more faithful to the original games then Hitman Absolution is



Its a worthwhile and easily forgettable game for me..



cus I've already played Splinter Cell Conviction,Uncharted,Assassins creed and Arkham City and the story honestly doesn't seem to pack a punch so i'll just finish the review
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:56 pm Reply with quote
berzerker
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It is quite incomprehensible because it is a complete mess, but it sure got some interesting elements. I suppose this could be made into a pretty decent review simply by rearranging the sentences.
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 4:55 pm Reply with quote
Suislide
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You want to adjust it?
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:43 pm Reply with quote
zachofat
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I could've done a lot better on my Walking Dead review, it sounded fanboyish and it wasn't funny enough.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:34 am Reply with quote
berzerker
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Suislide wrote:
You want to adjust it?

That's not what I meant, I meant to say that it does have potential and that the author could redraft it, it is not complete rubbish.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:36 am Reply with quote
berzerker
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zachofat wrote:
I could've done a lot better on my Walking Dead review, it sounded fanboyish and it wasn't funny enough.

Too bad, you'll have to live with this disgrace for all eternity. icon_geek.gif

Hopefully your next review will benefit from the experience and if not, you may find it back in the forum here, just like the one in the start post of this topic.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 4:21 pm Reply with quote
zachofat
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Somehow it has a 4.7 average, I guess you guys embrace shitty reviews
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Shitty Review Standards
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