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VideoGamesSuck.com :: View topic - A tribute to the best fucking racing game ever
Early yesterday morning I was getting dressed when I saw a flash of silver in the back of my closet. Upon investigating I saw it was a GameCube. I don't know why the fuck it was there, but when I opened the GameCube I saw that there was a game inside it. That game was motherfucking F-Zero GX. I remembered that my friend had left his GameCube here a while ago because he didn't want it and he wanted me to play f zero. I played it quite a bit but I got extremely busy And some things happened in my life and I forgot about it. After I got home from some boring ass lecture and shit I plugged in the GameCube and started to play. HOLY FUCK.
THIS GAME is THE BESTMOTHERFUCKING RACING GAME EVER FUCKING RELEASED HOLY SHIT FUCK YOUR RACING SIMS POGMA THIS GAME IS THE FUCKING BEST.
Wanna know why it's the fucking best? Well I'll fucking tell you.
No fucking load times
Graphics still hold up to this day even though it came out 10 years ago
60 FPS, never slows down fucking ever
All the cars are going atleast like 500 miles per hour.
It's hard as shit (reviewers actually knocked off points because it was too hard, bunch of pussies)
No pussy ass power ups, just some boosting.
Well balanced
30 racers all at once
Fun as fuck
Ability to knock enemies off the track
Awesome levels
Awesome soundtrack with rock and techno
Good character models
Textures are pretty good
Fun, but cheesy as hell storyline (it's also hard as shit)
Tons of unlockables and hidden shit
Lots of customization
All cars are varied and don't all control the fucking same
Just overall incredibly badass
This game is one of the best games I've ever played, and certainly the best racing game I've ever played. I'll make sure to add it to my favorite games list. Since GameCube games are so damn expensive nowadays most of you guys won't try it but to all who own a GameCube or a wii you need to fucking check out this game. It's insane. Basically if you blink you're dead.
10/10
BADASS
NOT FOR PUSSIES
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Re: A tribute to the best fucking racing game ever
Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:12 pm
berzerker
A Winner is me!
Joined: Nov 01, 2006
Posts: 2350
zachofat wrote:
NOT FOR PUSSIES
That rules me out then
Then again an occasional bit of Cars and Mario Kart (with the kids) is all I ever did in the racing category. I even hated the racing missions in games like Mafia or GTA, let alone that I would consider buying a game dedicated to that shit.
Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:11 pm
zachofat
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Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
I don't like many racing games either but this one is so goddamn fun and intense atleast check it out if you can.
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Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:13 pm
Pogma9
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Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Posts: 2522
That's a much better review Zachy.....
re-racing sims, they can only be fully appreciated once you have a wheel like a G27 or greater and learn the basics of car control, ie, you have to drive like a real race driver to a large extent.
That said, not all race sims are created equally, some are crap for various reasons, but some good ones are...
GTR2+ Power and Glory mod.
RACE07/GTR EVO/RACEON
Game Stock Car 2013.
Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:15 am
zachofat
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Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
lel stil nat es gud as f zero
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Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:13 am
craterface
Poopypants
Joined: Jun 26, 2009
Posts: 356
This game is awesome, I can second that.
I also have the F-Zero Climax (japan only release) on my GBA and that one's hard as hell too. It does not have dimensions like this one, tracks don't go above or below. Love it and it also has a map editor. Also made a few laps back in the middle of the 90's with my classmate's SNES.
Tried some normal auto racing games but those proven to be SUPER BORING even playing on an arcade machine within a fucking COCKPIT with seats, pedals and wheels and shit.
But whaddaya know, futuristic racing games were lot'sa fun. Best ever was ROLLCAGE. That game ROCKS. It was super fast and the whole wallcrawler concept was amazing. I perfected a super destructive and super fast racing style and knew all the maps with all the shorcuts. I was ROCKETJUMPING when the track allowed it which was basically flying through a straight line half the map.
Rollcage was the best for me. And still is.
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:00 am
Pogma9
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Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Posts: 2522
U kids wipe u bummy with these games
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:48 pm
zachofat
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Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
This game is the shit yo. Pogma if you ever somehow find a gamecube in your possession go buy this game. Really it's the shit even if it's not uber realz lel. As i said the graphics are pretty awesome for a 10 year old game and its locked at 60 FPS.
"Dear Nintendo:
YOUR COCKSUCKING PRODUCT HAS REDUCED ME TO A GIBBERING MAN-APE WHOSE ONLY RESORT TO DEALING WITH THE ALMIGHTY loving GRIEF IT'S BESTOWED UPON ME IS TO SCREAM AND HURT MYSELF.
Seriously, I am jumping up and down and throwing my poo poo in handfuls at the loving television in some impotent primal effort to get the thing to work. I have been sitting here trying to enjoy your product - YOUR PRODUCT, YOUR GAME, YOUR CONTRACT BETWEEN DEVELOPER AND CONSUMER THAT THE CONSUMER WILL ENJOY YOUR PRODUCT - but instead the drat thing's been crawling out of the console and taking warm shits in my gaping mouth. Swear to god, you should have just added a little door to the console through which a hand pops out and flips me off, because I am insulted that your QA or testers or whatever brainless shitstove three genes short of a monkey FAGNUT signs your games through thought that a person with more than a single loving digit IQ could enjoy Story Mode Chapter 7. INSULTED.
WORK WITH ME HERE: The goal's simple enough! Come in first! Hey, that's fine, it's just like playing the grand loving prix; not a problem! Only deal is your cross-eyed team of tongue-slapping wunderkind decided to give the game every single loving advantage possible TO THE GAME rather than me.
How in the gently caress does Black Shadow - whose car is the heaviest and lamest piece of poo poo next to the Crazy Bear - suddenly become SO loving GOOD that he can stay in first without using a drop of boost? Huh!? Why!? You never see this shithead anywhere near the top loving 20 in a normal race. BUT HO HO HO THIS TIME HE'S MEGA-COCK, THE FASTEST enjoyable human being IN THE WORLD. 1.21 GIGAWATTS MARTY, LET'S GO BACK TO THE loving FUTURE.
But it's not just Black Shadow with the magical powers, it's the entire loving lineup of racers! THEY'RE ALL FASTER THAN YOU. AND DON'T REQUIRE ANY BOOST.
But but but I of course, am still driving some piece of poo poo hamster-powered jalopy who guzzles it's entire energy bar in no less than four loving boosts! Add to this the entire course just got shitted on by some retarded space tiki volacano god and you've got a course full of hazards that'll drain at least 1/4 of your energy bar JUST BECAUSE IT CAN. WHOOPIE.
HURRR, you say. THAT'S JUST THE CHALLENGE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY. Well gently caress that noise, you lopsided frankenfaced fuckfurter.
Tell me, please, why does the GAME have to win? Huh? What happens when the game wins and I lose? Is there some huge loving kegger waiting for it when it gets done? Is there money involved? Or perhaps the motives are more sinister. Maybe the game's family is being held hostage by another game and that game has it's cock in F-Zero's wife's mouth and he's holding a cell phone up to her and F-Zero can hear her pained moans and cries for help and the rear end in a top hat game then says, "You beat that cock-sucking human, or I'll blow her brains out." I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN BE SYMPATHETIC.
It's not any fun if I can't win, you faggots. I want to move on. I want to unlock whatever piece of poo poo clown car you have hidden away from me so I can start racing and get pissed off with that too. When your game prevents me from fully enjoying the product I have bought you have failed in your loving mission to deliver a game. You lose! You break the contract! You contract the gay and loving DIE DIE DIE."
Last edited by zachofat on Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total _________________ swag
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:36 pm
Ape_Shall_Never_Kill_Ape
Ubertard
Joined: Apr 04, 2006
Posts: 130
Game was awesome but so damn unforgiving. The only other game that made me rage like a pussy was Ninja Gaiden 2. Wish I could have played AX, but no arcades in my state ever had one. Fuck it all.
Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:37 pm
zachofat
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Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
craterface wrote:
This game is awesome, I can second that.
I also have the F-Zero Climax (japan only release) on my GBA and that one's hard as hell too. It does not have dimensions like this one, tracks don't go above or below. Love it and it also has a map editor. Also made a few laps back in the middle of the 90's with my classmate's SNES.
Tried some normal auto racing games but those proven to be SUPER BORING even playing on an arcade machine within a fucking COCKPIT with seats, pedals and wheels and shit.
But whaddaya know, futuristic racing games were lot'sa fun. Best ever was ROLLCAGE. That game ROCKS. It was super fast and the whole wallcrawler concept was amazing. I perfected a super destructive and super fast racing style and knew all the maps with all the shorcuts. I was ROCKETJUMPING when the track allowed it which was basically flying through a straight line half the map.
Rollcage was the best for me. And still is.
Didn't see this reply before for whatever reason. I don't have a PS1 and I don't like getting older games to work on my PC so I'll probably never try Rollcage. I just looked it up though, it looks pretty badass. I like the idea of going on walls and ceilings and shit. I'm sure it'd be just as awesome as F-Zero GX. But man, this game really is the shit. My only issue is that on certain courses certain drivers will randomly get huge ass boosts in speed and skill (I believe they said this was a glitch carried over from the story mode, where the enemies are a lot better just to shit on your face) but besides that I have to say this game is the best racer I've ever played. Seriously, if they ever make a sequel on that new piece of shit console Nintendo released I would definitely try it (I would never buy one though). However if they did make a new one they'd probably dumb it down for all the little kiddies (they've done that will all their franchises so far). Anyway, they seem to be content releasing the same Mario Kart, Super Mario Bros thing anyway So I don't have high hopes for a sequel in the near future.
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Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 4:08 am
craterface
Poopypants
Joined: Jun 26, 2009
Posts: 356
zachofat wrote:
craterface wrote:
This game is awesome, I can second that.
I also have the F-Zero Climax (japan only release) on my GBA and that one's hard as hell too. It does not have dimensions like this one, tracks don't go above or below. Love it and it also has a map editor. Also made a few laps back in the middle of the 90's with my classmate's SNES.
Tried some normal auto racing games but those proven to be SUPER BORING even playing on an arcade machine within a fucking COCKPIT with seats, pedals and wheels and shit.
But whaddaya know, futuristic racing games were lot'sa fun. Best ever was ROLLCAGE. That game ROCKS. It was super fast and the whole wallcrawler concept was amazing. I perfected a super destructive and super fast racing style and knew all the maps with all the shorcuts. I was ROCKETJUMPING when the track allowed it which was basically flying through a straight line half the map.
Rollcage was the best for me. And still is.
Didn't see this reply before for whatever reason. I don't have a PS1 and I don't like getting older games to work on my PC so I'll probably never try Rollcage. I just looked it up though, it looks pretty badass. I like the idea of going on walls and ceilings and shit. I'm sure it'd be just as awesome as F-Zero GX. But man, this game really is the shit. My only issue is that on certain courses certain drivers will randomly get huge ass boosts in speed and skill (I believe they said this was a glitch carried over from the story mode, where the enemies are a lot better just to shit on your face) but besides that I have to say this game is the best racer I've ever played. Seriously, if they ever make a sequel on that new piece of shit console Nintendo released I would definitely try it (I would never buy one though). However if they did make a new one they'd probably dumb it down for all the little kiddies (they've done that will all their franchises so far). Anyway, they seem to be content releasing the same Mario Kart, Super Mario Bros thing anyway So I don't have high hopes for a sequel in the near future.
Hey no problem man. Rollcage was and is pure awesomeness and fun, and also quite unforgiving when making mistakes which can be super irritating especially when it happens completely out of your control. Like when some faggot enemy racer flips you off or when they shoot a building that crumbles towards you and the blast flips you off direction. I had enjoyed watching my brother play as much as I did as he cursed with such creativity... I was in ave. The game is hard. But it is also great, first title is actually better than the second, when you have time, check it out.
And this one's also have unlockables.
Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:10 pm
Daniel_Vanzant
Ubertard
Joined: Feb 11, 2005
Posts: 99
Location: Panama City, Florida
That game is shit compared to Rock and Roll racer for Super Nintendo.
_________________ My whole fucking life is like Vice City
Posted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 12:11 am
zachofat
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Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
F-Zero or Rollcage? Personally I think F-Zero GX is the best racing game ever made.
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Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 6:06 am
Pogma9
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Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Posts: 2522
How many of you guys have steering wheels...?
Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:14 am
zachofat
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Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
I'm not talking about the controls, Poggy. I'm just talking about the content. I believe F-Zero has a racing wheel as well.
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