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VideoGamesSuck.com :: View topic - Another Crap Submission
The main problem with this one is that it talks mostly about me. Also, I'm not sure what this guy is talking about...I have never played Halo 4, someone must have submitted a review.
Quote:
Reading "SUISLIDE" reviews was fun for a while, so I figure if this GayLord Fan Boy can dish it out, he can also take it. Anal Ofcourse. It's all in Good Fun, but Suislide, you can turn off your lube Machine, I won't be needing it now since your Anal has evolved into Pre-lubing it for the Celestial Planet Cracking Cawk I'm gonna Dig your Arse out with.
***Attention Retards: Before I do the actual review there is more stuff to be said, so if you are in a hurry, take your Apple iSHAT to the toilet with you and Dump in Peace while you read this. Hopefully your Arse won't blow up like the Cannon in the WW2 bunker in this game I am reviewing***
OK Here we go. I am not even going to bother breaking this game down into Subsections. Graphics, Gameplay, Blah Blah Blah. I'll keep it short and sweet. But first, as my first review on this site, here are a few things I noticed while signing up.
Upon trying to sign up, the site immediately asks me if I am a human or a bot. WTF? Would a bot even be able to READ This ludicrous shit and go "Well, Hmmm, I don't know, I guess I'm ROBOCOCK so FUCK YEAH" Or no, Maybe EDI can answer that question for me. For those who don't know, EDI is that Feminist in training from BIOCROTCHWARE MASS DEFECT 3.
Then, I began reading reviews. SUISLIDE, Amazing Reviews, Funny, and even made my Testicles leak from my Tear Sockets. He's right. FUCK IGN, FUCK GAMESPOT, and All these Lying assholes. FUCK EA and UBI SOFT. This is a review from someone who has been gaming since Commodore 64 and ATARI and some 8086 PC with a Floppy Disk that played a Street Brawler with plenty of dudes named Tyrone and kicked the Heads off those Big Headed Giant Face Big Footed Human Banshees in Double Dragon.
But SUISLIDE rubbed me the wrong way. Like in his HALO 4 and BIOSHOCK Review. F to the U Son. Your HALO 4 Review was like You softening Beans in your Vagina Juice so you could cook them from the Fire coming out of your Mouth after I kick your ass into your throat from which you can fart all day like a Dragon. Are you a FAGGOT to the Solar Core degrees? Your BIOSHOCK review made me Puke. That fucking game was utter SHIT. But its not about THAT game. Its about
LARA CROTCH, The TOMB RIDER.
Short and Sour. This bitch can take more Falls than Issac in Dead Space. All while making enough noise that will certainly have me digging for Porn every 5 minutes due to the utter Horniness this bitch is causing every 5 minutes she takes a dive. For some reason, My keyboard kept falling in my lap enough times that I finally learned to spin it on top of my BONER while watching the Cut Scenes.
I mean, here I thought Issac was now a TOTAL PUSSY in Dead Space 3, but No, the terrible games just don't stop coming. The Lies from the Big Publishers and The Online Review sites that Eat Imported TESTICLE SOUFLETS from the Alien Worlds...Thats not enough. How many MORE Aliens, Magic and Crazy shit will games have?
This game just pure BLOWS ASS. Its the SAME old shit. Apparently you land on an Island from which you cannot escape. That's the Plot line.
You are trying to help an ungrateful bunch of shits you landed on the shore with, all of whom happen to get to the desired Location well in Advance and act Ignorant way into the game. I don't know if I should keep playing to kill boredom between my Job and Masturbation or should I just Cut off my Testicles, Fill them with Gunpowder and Some Artsy Pyros, Throw them in my PC, and Ignite the Mixture, then Eat a Spaceship and Wait for my TESTICLES to grow out of all my own CUM I guzzled from my Exploding PC.
EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING VIDEO GAME NOW JUST SUCKS DICK. I would be HAPPIER Running around with 3 Weapons. A PC, XBOX, and PS3, with a DLC Weapon (Maybe a Large ZENITH LCD PLASMA Combo TV) Hitting a bunch of Tuesday night Hooters Prostitutes in the Tits and watch them Turn into Chickens and then Solve the Chicken or the Egg puzzle.
One thing is for sure, LARA CROTCH really knows how to take it. This Bitch can jump like LeBron and Slam Dunk an AXE right into your Ass Hole. You will masturbate Frequently while Playing her, but really, They should just do a DLC and Reward her with a Big ol' COCK at the end because that's what this bitch should Grow down her Tight Camos. As if DEAD SPACE 3 was not Lame enough...
And SUISLIDE, Your reviews are good, but some of your reviews make you sound like you Gobble testicle Lube and Toe Cheese from the Warcraft 3 Gold mine.
FUCK VIDEO GAMES! Lara Croft is a 1 hit wonder. Ricky Martin shit.
[/quote]
Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 5:31 pm
_Master_
A Winner is me!
Joined: Jun 18, 2009
Posts: 1711
not bad kid has potential...i like his style
_________________ follow me or get out of the way
Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 11:48 pm
zachofat
A Winner is me!
Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
You really need to put a bigger indicator for reviews you did not write as many retards seem to think that you write every goddamn review so instead of putting "xx writes" put like "REVIEW BY x" or some other bullshit.
_________________ swag
Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:05 am
cBox
Tard
Joined: Jun 14, 2011
Posts: 55
Damn he's craving your cock suislide.
What a moron though.
Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:40 am
Suislide
VGS Admin
Joined: Aug 14, 2003
Posts: 509
zachofat wrote:
You really need to put a bigger indicator for reviews you did not write as many retards seem to think that you write every goddamn review so instead of putting "xx writes" put like "REVIEW BY x" or some other bullshit.
Yeah, that might be a good idea. I can put in bold that it user submitted
Yes it was a Crap Submission.. let me answer some questions.
Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:55 am
BLOME
Flame Me
Joined: Mar 10, 2013
Posts: 1
Ok,
Number 1: I do not crave Suislide's body parts involving his penis. But if the foreskin is in the jar, well, you can give it to your mom on her birthday and I'll even pay for it.
Number 2: Yes my submission is craptastic. It's not my review or even my blurry Jizzed upon post I care about.
Number 3: What I care about is how many of us are bamboozled by the God Damn video game industry.
Now I don't mind getting into a Cream Pie contest with some of you, but if you are Phagotting about on whose butthole is bigger, it's None of you. If you want to know the answer, its EA and Activision, etc etc. But hey, after spending so much money and eating so much dog shit from the Gaming industry, I have a right to complain and talk shit. Thanks for the support. Now go Rub ass out with Robotusin or some Vicks. The Rape Burns I provide must hurt.
Posted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:22 pm
zachofat
A Winner is me!
Joined: Dec 23, 2012
Posts: 521
Location: Makkah
Did you join to complain about Suislide or do you plan to write more reviews? Because you are far from the first person to not like Suislide, but it's ok, no one does. You're better off just telling everyone you know this site sucks because believe me these complaints have been around for almost 10 years.
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