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| Spiderman 2: The Game | | Posted on Monday, June 28 @ 19:33:57 EDT by Suislide |  As i played this game shit started to slowly ooze out of my monitor. Oh wait its a game based off a movie, of course its going to suck dick, who were they fooling?
Graphics: The graphics arent too bad in this game and spiderman looks nice, except there is alot of things that look completley shitty. First off the enemy models make them look like blocky ass hunks of shit and their animations are just as bad. They run twoards you looking like they are 5 foot 4 yet have the fucking feet of micheal jordan. THE ANIMATIONS LOOK LIKE COMPLETE ELEPHANT ASS. The enviorments look ok, only because its a SQUARE BLOCK WITH A FUCKING TEXTURE SLAPPED ON. OH WOW LOOK AT THE FUCKING TEXTURE REPEAT UP THE BUILDING ON ALL BUILDINGS. The creators of these textures should be punched in the fucking face for having no creativity at all. The indoors can be OK looking in some areas, but in most of them they are are bland. OO LOOK AT THAT WHITE SMEAR ACROSS THE WALL, looks so good, yeah right. Other than that the graphics are ok, but the main enemy guy. Doc Oc or whatever his stupid name is, his claw things are supposed to be round. OH NOT IN THIS GAME, we better make it work on the ps2 so we can sell it to abunch of 10 year old faggots. The claws are triangle and the shaft to them are triangles. Wow. Graphics are average.
Sound: Whoever did the sound in this game should be blasted in the damn teeth with a wooden plank. OH MY GOD ITS TERRIBLE. There is no music at all so when you are swinging around all you hear is spidermans stupid web shooting. THE VOICE ACTING IS TERRIBLE. When the characters talk, there is fucking pauses between each thing they say. Such as when spiderman is cutting school to help his grandma at the bank (is the bitch that helpless?) grandma says "Thank you for helping me to the bank" *2 second pause* "Oh no problem Grandma (or was it aunt?). Not only that spiderman sounds like a big pussy, he sounds a lot like, oh whats that shit heads name, YEAH TOBY MCGUIRE. Hes voice is shaky and he sounds like a big pussy. THE WORST IS HIS GOD DAMN ONE-LINERS IN THIS GAME, instead of saying "Hail to the king, Baby" - Bruce Campell, he says something like "Im gay and i like spider penis up the butt." The audio is not so great at all.
Gameplay: The gameplay is ok at best, you can swing around, zip to shit, climb up walls, and kick the shit out of people because spiderman magically knows karate. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS YOU DO ALL THIS STUPID SHIT WITH THE SAME GOD DAMN BUTTON. So basically this game is made for a fucking retard who cant do anything more but press one button. Just click the left mouse and blam you have yourself shooting web while kicking ass and taking a pee on your own face. The swinging, fighting and everything is all SO GOD DAMN EASY. You want a challange? WELL TOO BAD, YOU CAN WIN NO MATTER HOW FUCING HARD YOU TRY TO DIE. There is health all over the damn place and even then, get this, THE FUCKING HEALTH RESPAWNS. So they elimated all challange. The AI is about as smart as a guy with no arms trying to play golf. Its set up basically so all the enemies RUN TWOARDS YOU AND ATTACK YOU. MIND BLOWING! The fighting system sucks, you press the left mouse to attack, or JUMP AND THEN ATTACK. INSANE! Also at this one part you have to difuse these stupid bombs, all you have to do to difuse them is push the three count pattern it shows you. THE ONLY WAY ON EARTH YOU COULD POSSIBLY LOSE. The gameplay is for stupid people.
Story: Who knows.. Doc OC is being a fag and his stupid experiments and he is being an ass and breaking shit around the city. Spiderman just wants to shoot his "web blaster" down that red heads throat. The game is all chopped up one minute you are stopping a jail break next minute you are at the fucking bank saving that.
This game IS POOP ON A STICK, but if you are bored it can be ok *cough* 3/10
*Edit:* Listen to this fucking bullshit. SPIDERMAN FOR THE PC IS DUMBED DOWN AND DIFFERENT FROM THE ONES OF THE CONSOLES. FUCK YOU ACTIVISION. What a shit fucking company , what does this show. Console fucking ruin games, and activistion just wants your fucking money and they dont think the pc market is as big, so what do they do? Release a complete shit game. FUCK YOU ACTIVISION.
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| Related Links | | | | Article Rating | | Average Score: 3.30
Votes: 13
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 1)
by Grumpy_Boy on Tuesday, June 29 @ 14:18:32 EDT
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Fuck I was halfway through installing this when I read this review I can't be fucked to cancel now I wish just try it and hope for the best.
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 1)
by Grumpy_Boy on Tuesday, June 29 @ 18:43:51 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | You know there nothings worse than a shit game expect for being told a games shit just before you play it.
The game stinks worse than a tramps cock.
Good review you almost managed to seem sane this time.
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, July 01 @ 07:52:11 EDT | lol!!!, I was in stitches reading this!!
VGS!! FOREVER!! |
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, July 17 @ 10:54:34 EDT | i fucking hate that lowlife toby mcquere or whever his name is. i perfered the old game to this with the orginal voices from the animated series now that kicked ass. these days game makers don't put enough effort in the the storyline nor the graphic and i think it fuking sucks. godd thing i played the demo first b4 purchase huh.
i loved spiderman comics no i can't even look at them the same after wat they done to him. don't get me wrong the movie is ok do to good graphics other then that
ps i hate toby fuking mcuree
especialy when he says "can i give u a hand it comes with free webs" |
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, July 17 @ 11:01:04 EDT | i could just like to say like my good buddy the reviewer FUCK U ACTIVISION. U fucking scums. how dare u call ur self pro game developers shit heads.
oh yeah and toby mcdonolds or mcuree or whatever u call urself ur mum is a $3 hoe, try safeing her u cunt. |
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 | |  | Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, July 29 @ 18:03:18 EDT | Geez, I'll agree with you on the rest, but you got gameplay all wrong.
Obviously you did not know you can upgrade and get combos with hero points. If you did, you'd know combos add >20 combat moves, not including swinging combat moves. Nothing like swinging an enemy in the air, jumping up, and smacking him around the whole way down.
Oh, and if you picked up your lazy finger, you'd realize you can use the other buttons on the controller to do other attacks. A web button can be used to disable or disarm enemies. The right button can be used to dodge attacks and counter attack. Not to mention the over-used bullet time.
And, as you get more hero points, bad guys get tough. I got creamed later because they can dodge my webs and punches if I use them too much. I have to mix up attacks and learn to counter attack effecitively. I even get tougher vehicles to chase, especially the helicopter which really tests your web swinging abilities. |
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, August 09 @ 04:23:52 EDT | I think you are talking about the console version.
For a start you can't play the fucking thing with a controller, there aint no bullet time either. Nor are there any hero points, enemies can't dodge because their AI is non-fucking-existent and you can't chase vehicles (there isn't even a helicopter in the game!!).
If I wanted to chase vehicles I would have got a fucking dog simulator, at least in that game you could lick your own balls, well it's better than sucking ass like this game.
If you really want to test your swinging ability, get a wife and join a weird dating agency. |
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, September 03 @ 02:19:34 EDT | The PC version is gettin slammed at all review sites/magazines. As is Activision. Stupid cunts. It's bad enough to have to put up with sloppy & lazy ports of GOOD console games, but this....kiddy game version...as if they aren't aware that 99% of console players are kiddies who don't have money & have to get their game on by begging mommy & daddy who ain't gonna shell out $2000 for a decent PC. While 99% of PC gamers are adults who can afford decent CPU's & vid cards (every 3 months).
I think someone over there at Activision had a fuckin stroke or somethin, to make such a decision. They oughta make a game outta that - 'Activision Stroke Simulator'. or A.S.S. for short. |
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Saturday, September 11 @ 01:28:13 EDT | | I find Spiderman 2 a pretty good game. Sorry I'm not like suislide, the immature gamer who thinks he is impressing us all by using the word 'fuck' as many times as he possibly can, I actually enjoyed this game. Grow up Suislide |
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Friday, October 22 @ 06:40:26 EDT | Please, anyone who likes the PC game, has got some seriously low expectations.
It makes as much sense as saying "Yea I took my sister to prom, but she's hot!"
It's just wrong. It's bad enough you can't admit that you purchased a POS game, but to flap your rationializations to others is just sad.
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Re: Spiderman 2: The Game (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Thursday, November 25 @ 08:38:35 EST | | There are rumors that we get actually the pc port |
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