Man what the hell is with the surplus of action games that have to suck big penis? Yes by now after reading the title of the game you can tell it sucks. I dont even know why anyone would make a game off a shitty ass mvoie with AHNOLD.
Graphics: Well to make it short this game has the graphics of a game from 2 years ago. Lets start with the shitty-cunt enviornments. They are basically abunch of blocky ass rocks and ice all with different skins. YAWN BORING. The character models are all really blocky too and dont have very good skins. Infact all of the skins in this game suck CONAN sized cock. And conan is the worse looking fucker of them all. Instead of muscles he has BLOCKS. FEAR ILL SMASH UR ASS WITH MY BLOCKS. Not to forget these blocks cause him to have massive bitch tits. GAY worst of all his hair looks like someone took a leaky shit on his head and it slowly trickled down. Theres a fucking million ways to do hair on a model and they have to pick the shittest fucking way possible. IT looks just as shitty as the one chicks from Trolls Lair test on 3dCUNTMARK03. So the graphics are basically average and sometimes less than average. its fucking 2004 give me a game that doesnt look like shit.
Sound: The sound is average, infact its kind of boring. The speech is ok except for CONAN THE BITCH TIT BARBARIAN. He sounds like the fucking hulk. I saved this one girl and he says "Me Conan, ARG ME HAVE INTELLIGENCE OF A DEAD PENIS." There really isnt any music at all, and if there you can stick ur finger up my ass. The clining of all the metal shit when you hit something is gay because its always the same. OH LOOK GHOST ENEMIES. ILL HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD. Mind you they look like a cloud, CLANG oh my fuck! its a ghost of metal. Or when i hit a dog or some shit it wouldnt sound like me stabbing my huge conan penis through them. So the sound is again average.
Gameplay: This is where the game takes a huge fall because, ill tell you straight up, the gameplay is shit. Conan walks like a fucking rock. Ok Run conan WTF THATS AS FAST AS YOU CAN RUN YOU PUSSY. And the fighting is boring as hell too. You can upgrade stuff with skill points you get from enemies and get better moves but they are all gay and easy to do. LEFT CLICK LEFT CLICK RIGHT CLICK. WOW CRAZY! There seems to be a god damn boss every 2 fucking seconds and the enviornments change all the time. Ok im chasing some guys that killed shit, k im in an ice cave, OH LOOK ON A RIVER, NOW IM IN A GHOST CAVE. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING ALL OF THIS. Last all of the weapons are the same OO SWORD, OO DOUBLE AXE! wow what you get creative you useless cunts. Gameplay is BORING. OH YEAH forgot that the save system licks huge cunt. OK PICK UP THE GEM TO SAVE. WELL FUCK U DICK FACE what if i want to quit now? And if i fucking fall and die and didnt save OH FUCK I GET TO START OVER. EAT SHIT
Story: Some assholes decided to fuck up your home town when you went there and you want to kill them. Well instead of following them, you get yourself into a bunch of shit with abunch of other cunts and i have no idea where i am and why i am doing the stuff i am. Story is stupid.
Conan looks nothing like AHNOLD so ill give this game a 4.5/10
