Holy shit this game is so fucking shitty. I thought it was going to be a decent game because i saw advertised all over in magazines and shit. NOPE. Its a big hunk of chunky brown/green shit. No one this game comes on one fucking CD.
Graphics: For awhile i thought i was playing quake 1 back from 1996 not only do all the models and enviornments look that shitty. THEY ARE FUCKING BROWN. If you had one color to describe this god damn game it would be brown. Everything is fucking brown even Joan's pussy. Ok so first we have the character models, joan doesnt look too bad for a model but thats it. Everyone else is a boxy ugly looking piece of shit. The guys who are supposed to be "LOOK IM A BOSS WITH BIG FUCKING MUSCLES" they just made them look more blocky. Next we have the enviornments, Big blocks of bloody goat shit. The areas you, Joan of Dick Sucker, can go on are mostly flat and brown maybe a little dead grass here and there. The hills are basically there to block where you cannot go. Also did i mention the fucking mouths on the models dont even fucking movee. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 1997?
The forts are shit are all the same, a square or pentagon outpost with the stupid same spiked wood bullshit posts sticking out of them. Every blacksmith shop and food place bullshit all looks the same too. So overall, if you smashed a cunt against ur monitor and blood flew everywhere, then you drank a fountain of shit and spit it on the monitor, you would have a better looking game.
Sound: Thank god for this game and its 11khz sound that sounds like its from fucking record from 1964. The audio is about as good as the graphics, terrible in all aspects. The voice acting is fucking stupid with some pussy guy who tries to fake an accent. To top it off its the worst, muffled shitty sounds you will ever hear. The music doesnt sound bad but it seems like they want to try and kill you by playing the same god damn 12 seconds of music until you want to fucking stab glass into your brain. SUCH FUN
Gameplay: The game almost had something going then it just plain fucked up by having errors up the anus. The fighting and kicking ass of the guys is actually not so bad and you can learn new moves, such as left click 3 times or left click 5 times, or left click left click right click. Yeah basically there is stupid gay uncreative combos you can do. When you are fighting it is not so bad and its actually kind of fun kicking some ass by knocking guys out with the smell of my cooch. You get a sword and a bow and can either shoot shit or stab it. There is a leveling up system which fuck if i know makes a difference because i cant notice one at all. You can also level up those moves which i guess makes them more powerful but of course they dont fucking tell you. The problem with the god damn gameplay is the errors. MISSION OBJECTIVE: kill PussyLips McGee. SO i finally get to pussylips but when i beat the shit out of him he doesnt lose any health and shit. I run away awhile then run back. BLAM a fucking scence plays and he says stuff then we fight. My only guess is WOW THE SCRIPTED SEQUENCES DONT WORK WORTH A TIT. Also it does this ALOT which makes it so fucking gay. Although nothing else is too bad.
Story: None. They decided HEY WHAT THE HELL. YOU CAN BE JOAN OF ARC AND RUN AROUND AND KILL SHIT WITH OBJECTIVES EACH MISSION. OH thanks thats awesome. So far after like 6 missions i can tell im french and i like killling these other guys who like to attack me. The story is fucking gay because there is none
THIS GAME SUCKS BIG DONKEY BALLS! DODODO, the only thing good is the fighting 5/10
