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| Firestarter | | Posted on Saturday, January 03 @ 21:01:24 EST by Suislide |  GhostBear writes "Graphics - Ok here's where the game does shine,the visuals are very good and TBH its about the only fucking thing this game has going for it.The lighting effects are nicely done as are the textures and model skins.
The only problem i noticed is with some of the weapons,you can see light flares through your weapons,what the fuck is that?Ive seen this shit before in games like UT2K3 and its not a driver issue.Oh and some of the chrome effects,my fucking god did we go a little overboard..ahh i think so.Some of the weapons are more shinny then my dick after my knee deep escapade into your moms bung.But with that shit aside the graphics are pretty dam good.
Sound - The sound is this shitbird over all is decent,im running it through a Audigy 2 and everything is clear and audible.EAX isnt the best ive heard but it passes.The music is good too although its no Prince Of Persia,they tried to go for the Matrix/Futuristic pop themes which work but arent my favorite.All and all the sound works well for the game and you can hear empty shell casings hitting the ground which is a fuckin must ,oh and the shotgun has a nice heavy thud to it the way it should.
Gameplay - Oh yeah this,hmm apparently someone had a grand idea to try something new and we all fuckin know this can go tits fuckin up if done wrong,WHICH IT DID!!! Think of Quake 3 meets XS ( remember that hunk of shit DOS game ? ) and done very BADLY!!.You start out with some gay ass fuckin hand saw which we all know does absolute fuckin shit when used and throughout your time in the Firestarter you pick up new weapons which are introduced right in the middle of fucking playing.For instance there i am running along like a fuckin noob waiting for someone to kill and all of a sudden the gaming stops to introduce a weapon or enemy which is done before you hit "start game" and then throws me back into what i was doing before but i forgot because of the gay ass interuption.Aces guys,just what we want a quick show case and pan around for every new thing that comes into our game FUCK YEAH!Oh i almost forgot to mention the half ass RPG character build system,OMFG what the fuck is this?ive been playing RPG's for along time and i still dont know wtf this is all about.Apparently you can upgrade your character with special abilities like "terminator" which marks an enemy of your choice in red and then every enemy except him tries to kill him............YAY!Oh,Oh,Oh one more thing that makes this game suck-swallow my lower half,its starting it up.I dont know whos bright I-fuckin-dea it was to re-load the engine and re-cache every god dam time you start up but its annoying as fuck and WE HATES IT!!Lets see "double click .exe".....wait two fucking hours for that to go through,then we get a gay ass intro,another two hours..then wait whats that, are we at the main menu? NOPE the engine has to cache and prioritze and a bunch of other shit i dont know before you even get there,this also goes for loading maps,and changing settings HURRAY!!!!
Story - The game is set in year 2010 where player's conscience is entrapped by an up-to-date virus-infected virtual reality-playing machine called FireStarter ( yawn ). The virus-caused failure resulted in computer changing the rules of the game - to break out of the trap, the player is to complete the game within 48 hours.Nothing special really,nothing wanting to keep you playing for more than 15minutes before you realize how incredilbly fuckin lame that plot is.
Overall this game kinda lacks anything fun and after 15-20 minutes of playing you might get the urge to floss your wifes/moms pussy with barbed wire and gasoline.Graphics good,everything else bad!........GhostBear 4.5/10"
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Re: Firestarter (Score: 1)
by Grooveygr on Sunday, January 04 @ 01:57:01 EST
(User Info | Send a Message) | Nice review...
Keep up the good work bear!
This game doesn't even fire up on my geforce2, so thats the kind of review i wanna hear before getting this cum-beast of a game in vain.
Gotta admit though, the boss fights seen in videos of this game do look fresh and original...well... size-wise at least.
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