An adventure game by THQ? And it doesnt suck? What the hell? Yes surpisingly the shittiest company around made a game that doesn't suck at all.
Graphics: This game is going to be hard to shit on because it actually looks good. All the models and skins for the characters look nice except for a few. Such as this one hippie faggot in a store, he has a nice skin for his face. Then you get from the bottom of his neck and the skin looks like complete ass, were talking blurry 1999 shit looking texture. Why the hell would you do that? Everything else looks nice all the world objects and such except for a few things. Objects such as poles and shit or a trash can arent fucking round. This is 2003 i can fucking run a game that uses over 50 polys in a fucking trash can. Other than that it all looks about average from a game you would expect from now. Man i sound like such a pussy in this review.
Sound: The speech is all well done, not shit voice actors like in the last adventure game that came out this year (The Black Mirror). Who knows if the accents are accurate but who gives a shit, why would anyone care what a french sounds like. This game has lack of music. Theres never any music when im running around with my penis out trying to figure out what the hell im supposed to be doing. Also whenever you discover a clue the same fucking 3 seconds of music plays and it makes me want to fucking pull my hair out. Other than that everything sounds good.
Gameplay: The gameplay is a little retarded but what did you expect its THQ. Your run around with the arrow keys or whatever the hell you set them to, but then there is this gay stupid ACTION MAP. HOLY SHIT COOL I LOVE THE ACTION MAP CUZ IM A COCKSUCKER. When there is an icon in this SUPER COOL ACTION MAP you select it depending what oval the icon is in, with wasd. Wow thats stupid how about i run around with the keyboard and use my god damn mouse to select something. Yes and to get icons on this GAY ASS ACTION MAP you just run around a stupid star will appear on something u can do something to. Then you figure out the puzzles and win.
Story: Strange weather bullshit has been going on around the earth. So you are a guy and crash in the forest and figure out there is this shit going down. Then you are this hot chick with big tits and a nice ass, and you go to interview a guy but he dies, oh fuck. So you figure it out he found out shit about the strange weather by some energy anus going around on the earth. The guy also figures it out and eventuall the guy and the girl meet up and they have buttsex0r. The story is ok, kind of retarded though. Why the hell is there energy around the earth causing bad weather? Why the hell would someone give 2 shits about creating bad weather? Yes.
Im taking off a point because of the stupid ACTION MAP OF AWESOME 9/10
