Holy shit this really was the darkest of days having to play this game. The whole idea is a decent concept where you are some person plucked from history who has to go around changing other events in history due to time travel. Too bad the gameplay is complete shit or it might have been fun. Apparently some garbage developer named 8monkey labs developed this turdball game. Having never heard of them in my life EVER, I concluded that they must be some low budget shithole company. I discovered through my highly scientific formulas and research (google) that they only have developed one game before...a fucking iphone game. So just imagine that and you can realize how big of a cum blob Darkest of Days is.
Graphics: Oh my god, this has to be the worst engine ever fucking developed. Get this, it's called the fucking Marmoset engine. WOW MARMOSET THAT A FUCKING SWEET NAME. Obviously they had to give the engine the worst name ever because it's being used in the worst fucking game ever. Anyways, the graphics in this game SUCK DICK. Ok so the game has plenty of variety of environments as you basically travel from the civil war, world war 1, you spend two seconds at world war 2, and the future. At least they attempted to mix up the environments instead of presenting the same shit over and over. OH WAIT, all you fucking see in the civil war and world war 1 basically and it looks TERRIBLE. The levels are big as hell, but lack any sort of detail in the slightest. The geometry of the levels in blockier than my shit. I thought that when I teleported in the game they sent me back into 1998 graphics. The character models are ALL the same and incredibly undetailed. Pretty much universally uninspired. The weapon models blow and pretty much everything in this game is just a blurry piece of shit. The textures are all brown and gray and it just makes you feel like someone is wiping their ass across your eyes the whole time. The only thing you see in the future is one stupidly small room with a monitor in it. The worst fucking part of the graphics? THE FIELD OF FUCKING VIEW. What the fuck is wrong with these fucking retarded developers? 60 DEGREE FOV IS TERRIBLE. It looks like you have fucking tunnel vision and everything is zoomed in. I had to keep adjusting my eyes because it looks so fucked up. Far Cry 2 pulled the same bullshit. IT LOOKS TERRIBLE. Stop fucking doing it, no one fucking likes it and you are all fucking retarded. PS, the graphics blow.
Sound: Did someone shoot a diarrhea shotgun in my ear? Oh nope, nevermind that's just the audio in this game. Prepare yourself for some of the most crap voice acting ever. Mother tells your mission in long, drawn out, drivel inducing dialog in a fucking monotone voice. Then you have some Australian retarded partner with the most fake accent in existence. The gunshots sound wimper out of your weapons like a weak fart. All the enemies sounded retarded and all repeat the same stupid sound files over and over. Anytime a stupid Indian is on screen you just hear them yelling their war cry CONSTANTLY. I thought I was going to have a fucking seizure from how annoying it was. The audio BLOWS DICK
Gameplay: The gameplay hurts my ballsack. Seriously, it's awful in every single way. First of all you use all the weapons from the time period and they BLOWS. The weapons have no weight or feel to any of them and they all feel exactly the same except for the reload time. Nothing says fun like using a shitty musket and having to reload it every two seconds. In the World War I scenes I couldn't tell if I was using the Russian or German rifles because they both looked exactly the fucking same and felt the same. So basically in each shitty level you chase some historical figure and have to make sure he gets taken out of combat by throwing these stupid green balls at him. That's all you do the whole game just to make sure time doesn't fuck up. There is also some blue people you can't kill either (even though for some fucking stupid reason other people can) and you get money and weapon upgrades from doing so. Eventually you use the latest weaponry in these stupid time periods. Who cares though, The combat is lame as shit if you enjoy shooting AI who basically jus stands there and doesn't shoot back. Hell, half the fucking levels i just ran by everyone because there was no fucking point of even fighting. The gameplay in this game is HORRIBLE.
Story: Ok so you were in the civil war and some retarded indians were attacking and getting their shit ruined. Luckily, dipshit mcgee plucks you out of this time period and you have to fight in other time periods to preserve history because of some other guy. Although, your character doesn't even seem to fucking question getting pulled out of a war in the middle of it and time traveling. So you go through stupid time periods preserving these dumb people because of some other guy and then the game ends. It's a fucking horrible story and doesn't make any sense. They say right in the beginning you can't travel forward in time..THEN HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET BACK? And when we are teleported back has it only been after one second or does time progress normally in the future? They don't answer any of these questions which means the whole game just got fucking denied by me. God I'm so fucking good. I just defeated you tools. Next time learn to make games that don't suck dick.
I wish I could travel back in time and shoot myself in the head before I installed this game 1/10
