Another Clive Barker game! Usually this would be a good thing considering that Clive Barker's Undying was pretty good. However, even with Spike Spiegel doing the voice for the main character this game still sucks shitty anus. There is aboslutley NOTHING good about this.
Graphics: Ok so at first look you see all the character models and textures and say! Hey these are pretty good looking and pretty detailed as well because they seem to have some good textures on them. Well thats about where the remotley good graphics. Perpare to enter a world of shitty brown, black, and dark red because thats all you will see for the rest of the game. I haven't seen this much brown since Quake 1 or since I cleveland steamered your mother and my rubbed my shitty ass cheeks all over her chest. So anyways the graphics in this game fucking suck hard. All the environments are just some shitty looking ruins that you have to walk through the entire time and its BORING. Its all narrow corridors as well because its a shitty console the game was made for and it seems anything on a console has to be both linear and corridor like. The enemies are the dumbest fucking designs as they are just blobs of black and gray coming at you. They are completley uninspired and boring. It's more interesting looking at a pile of pubes on my chest. Everything in the enviornments, enemies and all are just BLAND and boring. The graphics are awful. Worst art design ever. And they don't get any points for the use of gore either because it still fucking bored me.
Sound: The only saving grace to this piece of shit is Spike Spiegel does the voice. The rest of the audio in this game sounds like Im fucking a cow in the ass with barbed wire around my dick. Seriously its awful. The creepy ambient noises and screams and stuff are just BORING and sounds like someone held up the mic to a TV while it was playing a VHS hooked up with a coaxial cable. In other words, AWFUL. The dialog is just plain horrid, constantly repeating stupid phrases that never needed to be created in the first place. The voice acting is uninspired as hell, no one in the game actually feels like they want to be there recording this shitty dialog. They probably recorded it at a bus stop when these people were on their way to get a real job. Point is the guns sound stupid, enemies do to and the audio is just a real shit job.
Gameplay: The gameplay in this game COMPLETLEY SUCKS. The whole game you just go on some straight linear path down narrow corridors fighting LAME ASS ENEMIES. And I freaking mean it these enemies are fucking lame. You have an arrangement of dark gray blobs that run at you, to some large explosive black and red blobs that run at you. You know why they just run at you? Because the AI fucking sucks. They probably stole the AI from Serious Sam because its AWFUL. The enemies do ABSOLUTLEY nothing besides run at you. Then you have your SUPER RETARDED team mates. Oh, yeah you think you are going to get some back up from them? HELL NO! They die every two fucking seconds because they just stand around firing instead of running away. So later in the game you are supposed to use the various characters on your teams to solve different puzzles, such as using some magic bullshit or other powers your team mates have. Except all their powers suck dick and are barely used throughout the game. So you will just be shooting down narrow corridors the whole game doing absolutely nothing interesting. Oh, I forgot there is this stupid as old man on your team who is carrying around DUAL DESERT EAGLES. Talk about fucking useless! Yeah lets bring fucking grandpa on the trip and have him wield dual pistols because thats what a tactical squad uses! Anyways the gameplay is just lame in all aspects.
Story: Blah blah some boring shit is happening at some old ruins and you have to go investigate. Oh yeah and everyone in this game is gay and the story sucks fat balls.
Clive Barker's Undying was about seventy times better than this game 4/10
