I think the full message of the title of the game is a subliminal hint. After playing the game i realized "Just Cause we make a game doesnt mean its not going to be a steaming pile of placenta." This game fucking defines the action of sucking a dick.
Graphics: Yeah the graphics are pretty good in this game, anyone can admit that. There is huge expanisve enviornments on tropical type islands, trees, buildings, small towns and larger cities with cars and people walking around. Makes for a lively area of play and one that has good graphics at that. It has sort of a far cry style to the art direction but instead of being on a monster island you are on some mexican islands or some shit like that. Most of the enviornment is repetition of the same green field and dirt road over and over again. There is also abunch of different cars in this game that also look pretty good and fit the atmosphere (aka broke down piece of shit vehicles filled with apples). The character models aren't anything special but they don't look too bad either, pretty much average. Some of the textures on the buildings look like complete shit though but i guess with no loading times and such a large and good looking lush enviornment it doesn't really matter. Even with how good the graphics area, it doesn't really make up for the rest of the game.
Sound: The sound absolutley fucking sucks the fattest nuts in town. The sound sucks more dick than george michael and boy george mutated into some super gay dick sucking monsters. There was like one fucking voice actor for every single civilian in the city and its the typical mexican chach voice you expect. Then whenever you are in a firefight the enemies and your teammates repeat the same fucking phrases over and OVER. They say it so many fucking times you want throw a plunger at them, plunge their brain out and then pound the shit out of it. The voice acting for the main characters is also poop, mixed with completley shitty written dialogue. WHOEVER WRITES THIS MATERIAL FUCKING STOP IT. ITS SO BAD. The voice acting for the main guy is awful, they put aboslutley no effort into it at all. THen there is some chick thats on your team and whoever did her voice sounds like a fucking retard. I also had some problem with the shitty audio on this game where the engine sound to any vehicle would just randomly cut out at times. SWEET! Not to mention the vehicle sounds are almost completley monotone. The sound overall is pretty bad MOSTLY due to the absolute CRAP voice acting and the super fecal dialouge. I don't get who writes this shit, seriosuly. Its worse than my shitty writing on this site. They like try to make all these phrases to make your guy sound like a badass, except he has like the same phrases as any stupid ass steven segal movie.
Gameplay: The gameplay in this game is AWFUL. Ok first of all you are in this huge enviornment with a GTA style to it. You can steel cars, shoot random people etc. You also go to certain people to do side missions/take over territory or something like that. Or you could do the main story line (which is short as fuck) by going to some RV in the middle of nowhere. You can only carry about 4 weapons at a time, usually your standard unlimited ammo revolvers (which fucking suck btw) or a variety of sub machine guns/shotguns. So it sounds like they have it set up for GTA clone.... instead you have clone of a fucking monster turd. Seriously the gameplay is so bad. The controls for your character are clunky as shit and its even worse when it comes to vehicles. For some reason all the mexican vehicles handle like a fucking go-kart with only one wheel on it. Then they added in that you can do these stunts with a parachute and shit.... except they made the controls at this point suck EVEN WORSE. They set up the stunts in such a bad way that you will want to shoot your own nut sack off. I already did, dont let bad games happen to you. So you can jump off your car and onto another and steal it, except for some reason you can still drive the car while you are on top and you have to ASS ACCURATE in jumping to the next car or parachuting with the gun that attaches you to cars.... you have to be so precise in the way you control it or the line will break and you will fuck up your mission and everyone will hate you, fucking pansy. The controls in every single aspect of this game are the clunkiest piles of garbage ever. So then hows the gun combat you say? Lame as hell because it seems the AI never graduated elementary school. I freaking stood in the middle of a fucking pack of guys for about 3 minutes.... didn't get hit once. Its so easy because the AI is completley retarded.... they miss almost every shot unless you are DEAD close to them. Close enough to shave the guys pubic hair, cum on his face, and give him an abe lincoln. This game is plagued with complete shit controls, piss-poor implemenation of the stunt system, and AI that is more brain dead than Terry Schavio after that ninja kicked her in the throat (thats the real story if you wanted to know).
Story: Another stupid fucking story line. You are in Mexico trying to cause a revolution to do some stupid shit. The story was basically so uninteresting that i had to use a staple gun on my knee caps just to stay awake.
This game makes my ass bleed 2/10
