I know what you are thinking... an adventure game? what the fuck is that? Well finally one has been released this year and is a sequel and official the weakest game in the series. What the hell?
Graphics: Ok the graphics basically are just allright. They definatley arent anything special. Some areas of the game look pretty decent while the other areas in the game can look bland as shit. Some of the areas you go to have detail and stuff in the room while others will be a big gay gray dull ass hallway. There is abunch of enviornments from the vatican, to some shit hole apartment and istanbul. Istanbul is the perfect example, the hotel actually has some detail to it and has a somewhat decent looking enviornment... while when you go to the castle its an empty bland un-detailed piece of shit. So basically the graphics are up and down like a woman on her period. The character models are allright, nothing special, except for the hair. The hair on the 2 main women characters looks like a huge blob of shit. Seriously this is the worst fucking looking hair ever and we have all seen boy george (that faggot). Whoever made the hair must have been the same person who did the hair in that Orge test in 3dmark03, because it looks like shit. Overall the graphics are allright, nothing special, but hey what can you expect with an adventure game? good looking pre-rendered backgrounds? LIKE HELL!
Sound: Ok since this is an adventure game theres alot of dialouge and as with most adventure games the voice acting and dialouge doesn't suck the longest pube hair on my nutsack. Whoever did the voices actually did a good job and actually put some thinking into the jokes (unlike me!). The music is ok and fits the game... it wasnt really anything special either. The one thing that got on my nerves what the stupid fucking tingling sound everytime you did something right. Its their way of saying, hey thanks for solving this puzzle. There really isn't anything else to say about the sound except the dialouge and voice acting is quite good which is to be expected as with most adventures.
Gameplay:The main change in the gameplay here from the last game is they decided to go back to point and click, the problem with it is they fucked up. The point and click works all fine until you get to the evil enemy of doom, aka THE FUCKING STAIRS. Everything i clicked on the stairs to go up the character would fuck up and start fucking spinning left and right until they slowly got to the top. Who the fuck designed this shit? I didnt ask to go in a high speed centrifuge, i asked to go up the god damn stairs. Anyways besides that its better that they went back to the point and click because the keyboard shit in the last one made it incredibly lame. Anyways you point and click on shit, talk to people, solve puzzles using all the wit. Actually you dont need any wit in this game because all the puzzles are simple as shit. USE GEORGES FUCKING EXTENDO GOLD CLUB TO OPEN A LATCH. Wow my brain hurts stop....*cough*. Seriouisly the puzzles in this game got incredibly lame, im not sure what they were thinking, but it wasn't about the god damn puzzles. Some of the puzzles aren't bad and actually require you to figure out something such as the puzzles in the bottom of the castle in istanbul or in the vatican. Those might actually provide kind of a challenge. One other thing they added was the the hacking puzzles, which are basically trying to get a laser beam to go a certain way in order to succesfully hack. The first one is really easy but the rest of them can be a decent challenge. So yeah the gameplay isn't bad with some decent puzzles, the hacking, but alot of the puzzles were fucking easy.
Story: Ok so this blonde slut comes into your bail bond office and some gangsters are chasing after you. Well fucking great they demolish your office and you have to help her escape. Shes a bitch already....So later you get her manuscript to find some stupid treasure. Then you guys get it and she fucks you and leaves. What a bitch. George probably have the clap now and he doesn't ever get tested. The re should have a puzzle where you have to leak out all the puss. Anyways so you go help looking for her and Nico shows up and helps you out. Turns out Anna Maria (the first chick) and some guys in the vatican want to get these statues on the arc so they summon god or something. Either way you have to go stop them and one cardinal knew about them and gets the mafia involved. Why didn't anyone call the FBI or CIA? Why the fucking mafia? Anyways you finally get in the vatican and turns out anna maria isn't a shithead according to george. He forgives her like an idiot... Ok then the ending to this game is the ABSOLUTE WORST FUCKING ENDING to an adventure ever. You get down to where they have Nico and doing some summoning shit from the Ark. Then you smash the statues and no one stops you, then melvut (some waitor guy) shows up OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE and holds you up. Him and Anna Maria both shoot each other. You smash the statue and stop the ritual and one cardinal dies from jumping in. Then you and Nico leave... and the credits roll... WHAT THE FUCK? You just fucking smashed a precious artifact, 2 people are fucking dead, and you just walk out like nothing happened? What a pile of crap ending.
So the game has some decent puzzles and voice acting, the story was kind of stupid, and there was alot of poop puzzles too 6/10
