So that black man with the stupid homosexual dreadlocks is back to give us another experience of whats its like to be in a really shitty video games. This episode fucking sucks balls.
Graphics: The graphics for the most part are just completley boring and uninspired at all. You go through some gay canals, some lighthouses, and some other boring locations that no one gives a shit about and they just look bland and generally boring. The only time the graphics looked pretty good is going up the SinTek building and seeing all the buildings in the distance. Other than that the enviornments are boring and blocky. Now the character models are nothing special looking....there some soldiers guys and some alien guys.... woopty do. The big alien stupid boss creature atleast looked somewhat unique but the rest of the aliens are just stupid shit. Then there is Alexis Sinclair or whatever her name is. Shes a big fucking slut and has huge titties and of course they made them bounce. They probably put all the work into her boobies and didnt really care about anything else. You also have some stupid partner bitch who doesnt look to the bad. The only enemy model worth mentioning is the machine guy who looks pretty good other than that the rest just look like reskinned combine soldiers. WAY TO GO ON THE ORIGINALLITY. The weapon models are all bland and boring looking. Basically the graphics in this game are about as good as a dribbly old man penis on a good day. Oh yeah and the menu looks like a 4 year old made it in paint.
Sound: Holy shit is the sound in this game fucking boring. The music sucks huge fucking ass. Its all boring as hell and plays for about a whole 3 minutes then ends when you hit a loading point. SWEET! Then you have the voices of the characters all make you want to stab them. JC sounds like a little emo bitch trying to fit in. Hes like 15 years old... why the fuck is he even alive. Then you have to listen your partner chick whine and talk about shit. You should be able to slap her because shes a woman and shouldnt be talking unless you said its ok. The dialouge for all the characters is just boring... they talk about all the stuff going on but you cant help but not give a shit. Then mr blackman (the character you play) makes like one comment throughout the whole game. Where are the stupid one linears like "SCHOOLED" or "You just got cleavland steamered" The sounds used for the weapons and such are just completley average... So you get to listen to boring dialouge said by stupid characters HUZZAH!
Gameplay: Ok this gameplay is the most generic, boring, bland, fecal like gameplay ever. The whole game you run through linear hallways and shoot at guys with your choice of THREE weapons. Not only are these bad guys but they are infinatley spawning badguys! You get to the same 2 or 3 models come at you in waves over and over! Hell yeah, you know a game fucking rocks when to provide a challenge it has to send the same waves of guys over and over. Not to mention your huge selection of INCREDIBLY ORIGIANL WEAPONS like the bullet shooter! Not to mention the gun that shoots a multitude of pellets at once! Or that really cool one the automatic bullet shooter with nade launcher attachment (pistol, shotgun, machine gun). Holy fuck shit how could these guys ever think of these things? I cant believe i get to choose from three fucking totally awesome cookie-cutter weapons! So then we have the AI system... its supposed to adjust depending on how good/bad you are doing in the game. It works about as well as... a dribbly old man penis. The AI Just fucking sucks.... basically all they do is run at you and shoot and thats about it. The AI adjustment system doesnt work worth two shits. So you just run in a linear path the whole game shooting generic bad guys with generic weapons in boxy levels. Sweet. Oh yeah there was a sequence where you got in the car with that chick so im thinking AWESOME car chase level since you can manuever all around it. No Instead she just drives into a fucking building with it and thats it. Its indestructable as well which is retarded because it got hit by a rocket and the doors fly off and she is just sitting there. The gameplay is boring.
Story: Story blows the fat end of my dick. You wake up on some table and Alexis is about to ride your tree trunk of a dick when some other guy walks in and cock blocks you. Then some chick with red hair who ive never seen before comes and saves you. SHe then tells you to go talk to this guy and then you just kill people until you go to the sintek building. You then shoot a ship down and the episode ends. It didn't really have much of a story at all... or atleast none that anyone cared about. And why the hell is Alexis doing all this evil shit? Since when the hell are women allowed to have a job?
The game is feces... don buy the next episode 3/10
