So Peter Jackson is remaking the movie and of course some company wanted to make money off of a movie SO OF COURSE they release a game based off it to milk our sorry asses for money. HELL YEAH!
Graphics: Ok first of all Ubisoft did the most fucking assinine thing ever. There are two versions of the game... the standard edition which looks like a pile of shit. It was basically a port stolen right off the ps2 and they put it on the PC so it looks like a pile of feces was thrown at my monitor. The textures in this version are low res and SHITacular. There is absolutley no pixel shaders because the PS2 is a hunk of fucking trash that everyone wonders why the hell anyone would develop a game for it. Playing this standard edition of this game made me feel like i was beemed back into 2000. So the standard edition looks like a pile of shit. There are just noticably horrid textures everywhere and the models you can tell are quite blocky. Oh yeah and King Kongs fur looks like a fuzzy ball of shit with pubes stuck in it. So then they also released a THE SUPER FUCKING GAMERS EDITION! Because TRUE games have good graphics. So anyways its the same game with some high res textures thrown in and pixel shaders. Now the problem here is that the Gamer edition looks better but RUNS LIKE THE BIGGEST PILE OF SHIT EVER. IT doesn't even have the graphics to justify it running like an old lady with broken legs in her fucking scooter. Oh look King Kongs face actually looks like a money now and not like someone cough up pubes on my screen! Thats -72342 frames per second! The gamer edition doesnt look very good at all either because the models are still the same and so is the level design. Now the game does have a good atmosphere in the jungle which is nice. You actually feel like you are in a pile of crap of ruins and dinosaurs.
Sound: Now for once in a god damn game the voice acting is actually pretty good. But it damn well better be because its the same actors in the movie. The dialouge isnt that bad either which is nice because im sick of fucking stupid one liners and voice actors who sound like they hired a crack addict from the back of sound studio. The music fits the game well enough and is probably taken from the movie. THe problem with the audio is it sounds like shit because its all in 22khz. HELL YEAH 22KHZ BABY! MARTY AND DOC GRAB THE FUCKING DELOREAN LETS GO BACK TO THE 1980s! The rest of the sound though is enjoyable
Gameplay: So for the most part of the game you are JACK CUMBLOBS. Anyways so you are on an island and for Jacks part of the game the entire thing is in first person. There is no hud or anything which helps to put you into the experience of the game (you can turn it on but thats for faggots). So you press a button and he will tell you ABOUT how much ammo you have. He can never fucking count because he is always about one clip off. So you run around through the forst with other characters in the story trying to find Kong and you are beating ass of various creatures along the way. You can get some guns such as springfield rifle, m-1928 thompson, a luger for some reason, and a shotgun. I mostly used the spears though which were fun as hell. You can pull spears or bones out of the ground which and sitting around AND FUCING CHUCK IT RIGHT INTO A DINOSAURS EYE. Hell yeah take that you shit. You can only use it so many times before it shatters but they are all over the place. It feels statisfying as hell throwing a spear into someones face. Too bad you cant throw it at Ann. It would have been nice to give her a spear to the face. So you battle through the jungle and its quite enjoyable and the puzzles arent to incredibly hard to figure out as they are usually LIGHT THIS FIRE SO YOU CAN LIGHT THIS FIRE. Its also linear as hell. I didnt know the fucking jungle only had one path threw it! How the hell could anyone get lost then! So for the other part of the game you play as Kong and YOU BEAT SOME DINOSAUR ASS. Ripping apart T-Rex's jaws and smacking snakes all around until they die and jumping around through your gay linear path through the jungle. Eventually you go to New York and die. Its fun beating the piss out of things as Kong.
Story: You and Jack Black go to some shitty island to film a movie because of a legend of Kong and shit. Anyways its the same story as the 1933 movie. And kong doesnt climb the twin towers like in that piece of fucking trash 1970s remake. So basically you are going after Kong because he stole Ann because of the shithead natives on the island. Then KONG DIES> HOLY SHIT I SPOILED THE MOVIE.
The game is enjoyable but its also REALLY SHORT and doesnt look that great 7/10
