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| Shadow of the Colossus | | Posted on Saturday, November 12 @ 08:52:38 EST by Suislide |  zaf writes "Everyone's heard of this game im pretty sure. If you havent then your a muslim. Oh and you need to buy a ps2 because thats what its for. I know the PS2 is a peice of shit! hey oh wel! Your pc doesnt have everything you fucking geek. This is one of the best games for PS2. If there was only one game you should get for the ps2 its this. The PS2 also sucks so warning.
summary: Its simple, you fight huge Statues to prove who has a bigger penis.
Graphics: Because its on the ps2 it should automatically look gay. like you. But it DOESNT! for some reason even with low res and blocky architecture, everything looks so fucking beautiful! Its like i married a pornstar, fucked her 9386 times, shrunk, lived inside her cunt forever, then george bush died of an heart attack! Actually, its all because of the way things were layed out, i think its called ART placement or someshit. But when you start playing this game, theres no fogging or shit, unlike in san andreas where you cant see too far because your skin is too black, You can see al the way through the end, and the island your on is VERY BIG! like my cock. I have a huge cock you pussies. When your riding your horse accross the terrain everything looks pretty like in that movie sound of music which you watched. moron. The sun also shines really good like fake HDR but same shit, in the temple where you start it shines really bright so if your white your gonna get sunburn. Then theres the collosus that you actually fight. OH MY GOD, when you first see one of em your gonna masturbate SO FURIOUSLY and then pass out. Theyre
like 10 metres tall. They have fur which actually looks like sweet, unlike in other games that looks like leper sheep balls. The game runs at a low fps but it doesnt relaly affect you. The whole game looks pretty all in all.
Sound: Theres not much sound in the game, but it still sounds very good. Whenever a colosus walks, its like *BRAOUGNQ!!!* yea thats an actual sound effect you fucking retard. The best part is when you stab them in the head. It sounds so fucking delicious when you insert your sword into him because your a faggot! for me tho, it sounds like i just slid my cock into my english teacher and shes like "A+!". The voice acting doesnt sound bad. They speak in ancient language or some shit because nowadays, WHO the fuck speaks english anyways? I bet your scared you cant understand the story, But theres subtitles you fucking Moron. Basically theres not much sound effects in the game but thats ok. The Music is so good! For this game, the team actually ressurected Beethoven restored his sight, made him compose music, Then shot him so you cant talk to him anymore now. When your trying to fighting a colossus the music sounds so epic like it actually makes you feel like your actually fighting a HUGE COCK. And when you get onto him because your gay and thats the only way to kill him, the music changes into HEROIC shit that really makes you feel proud of yourself. Your a loser. It sounds really great. especially in the intro, it sort of makes you feel sad and stuff. If a game can do that to you, than its definitely an awesome game. not me tho. Anyway the music and sound is Great.
Gameplay: You run around along with your horse and fight colossus. they're these big moving rocks. with hair. Thats all it is, But i swear to you its Fun. I was on my horse riding really fast towards under this giant, then I jumped, Grabbed on to his balls, stabbed it, and heard the faggot scream in pleasure. The game has a good way of making you feel like youve accomplished something. Oh you also have a bow with unlimited arrow that he stores in his asshole because its so huge from those times he made the horse violate him. One of the main goals is to get on the colossus so you can stab him. In your first go it'll prolly take you 40 minutes to figure it out because your adopted. Fighting them is a puzzle in itself But when you do get onto him, it feels great. You have to look for the spot where you stab him, usually its in the head. The puzzles are good because its simple. Like there was this dragon that had three pairs of testicles which gave him the power of flight so naturally you had to burst them and sip the cum out so he falls and humps the ground while you try and get onto him. The colossus are great, they walk at .005MPH so you can definitely outrun them, but some of them go really fast so all you could really do is slice of your penis and throw it at the ground and hope the colossi is gay and takes the bait. Thats right, Many times you might get frustrated trying to figure out how to kill it. Also the Camera sometimes turns into an asshole, alot of times it doesnt go anywhere you want, So im trying to whack off and Im trying to focus on the princess's twat but then it shows me the horse! WTF this game is trying spread spanish culture. But that only happens to women. The game is plain awesome.
Story: Your this boy whos NOT a hero and your carrying some princess whos dead. She died because the boy couldnt satisfy her and tried the horse instead but her leg got caught in the straddle and choked on horse cock while being dragged across her kingdom, although they took that part off the intro. So you come to a faraway land and by killing colossi you can resurect her, because you and the horse started getting horny again. I really didnt listen much, But the ending is spectacular. If you have PS2 you need this game. youll love it. for fighting fans theres a sword, for adventure people theres a big land, for FPS lovers just fuck off thats all you play anyway, for porn theres that dead chick you can wack off to, for racing fans theres a horse. The game made me want to have sex with the television
10/10"
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| Related Links | | | | Article Rating | | Average Score: 4.07
Votes: 51
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Re: Shadow of the Colossus (Score: 1)
by Mean_MOFO on Sunday, November 13 @ 08:13:35 EST
(User Info | Send a Message) | "Its like i married a pornstar, fucked her 9386 times, shrunk, lived inside her cunt forever, then george bush died of an heart attack!"
that sure made a lot of sence. idiot. |
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Re: Shadow of the Colossus (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Wednesday, November 16 @ 04:35:49 EST
(User Info | Send a Message) | | oh man, the game sucks. you guys are retarded. no haha im just kidding, the game rules. i sold my mom for the ps2. |
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