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| BloodRayne 2 | | Posted on Friday, September 16 @ 18:00:33 EDT by M0nKeY |  Mean_MOFO writes "The long awaited sequel to one of the greatest third person action games is here at last! And it's everything you ever wanted! All the qualities are here - it's repetative, clumsy, control unfriendly and it has a retarded camera. Oh yeah, it pretty much stinks like your bathroom cos u never fucking clean it u sick dirty bastard!
This game is a port. Whoooaa! What a big fucking surprise! Another port!? Yea, cos there's no future for your fucking PC gaming rig. That's right, you spent all that money building yourself an ultimate bitchin machine so you can play tons of fucking ports. Bad ones mostly. God bless idiots and retards, they're the only ones who can happily drool over that sort of shit, cos basicly, they drool all the time. Aaaaight, the show must go on...
Graphics: Hmm hmm, gfx. Alright, here's the deal. Gfx are nothing special. The enemy models look like shit. That's one of the worst fucking parts. Those fucking goths and thugs look like pathetic shit. And u don't even feel like killing them cos they all look like they could die of a trisomy of the 21st chromosome real soon. The main bitch looks aight. She's quite fuckable and shit, but the environment screams "vampire.. bloodlines" ripoff most of the times. So all in all, graphics are okay and the game run well on my fucked up system on max details and resolution. But that's also the bad part, u can't show off with your ultra super badaas rig. Whatever, moving on...
Sound: uuugggh.. the sound. I don't remember any music, so that means if there is any, it's so fucking bad my brain was trying to save me from the disaster of hearing it so he just blocked all the needed information about it, by using its built-in firewall. As for the voice acting, jeez.. Unfortunately, I heard those sounds. BloodRayne bitch sounds like a street hoe who's trying to sell her overpierced body to a fat tycoon by telling him she's actually a model. Also, that greasy tycoon is blind. Shooting sounds sound like when you're shooting birds with your bb-gun. Yea, fucked up. The worst part is some asian dampire (yea, that's some semi-vampire bullshit) bitch who must have been cloned cos u keep killing them all, and they keep coming back, and they all refer to you as "pretty". U get to hear that 1028 fucking times so that game creators are asured that u know you're character is pretty. She's pretty y'all! Fucking gorgeous, remember that shit when buying the next sequel! Sex sells, but this shit smells...
Gameplay: Ports always lack in that department when compared to the original console version. Right, so you get to do like 100 moves of which 90% is useless cos they're basicly the same thing except it looks different. Some Mortal Kombat like shit, u get to finish your enemies off and slice them in half and fucking tear them apart and in the end, piss on them. Perfect shit for some fatass kiddo who has time to memorise all that shit. Playing with keyboard sucks, but I wouldn't try it any other way cos console way is the gay way. Yea, so u get to shoot too, and use some lame ass magic tricks. U get to drink blood. Fuck all that shit, here's how it works in the end:
U hold a fucking ctrl so u lock on some dumb thung, u maniacally click your mouse + random movement keys. then u hit ctrl again and again and again, and u keep wondering why you u died like 5th time in a row. Oh yea, cos the game sucks and the controls respond in a fucked up way. Killing is not as fun as u'd expect when u first see those arm blades. It's out there with pissing on your neighbour's car (fun!), but being caught (fun factor immediately drops...). Not to mention the repetativeness... Oh boy, I never finished the whole game cos my brain hates to be spoonfed with loads of crap.
Story: You're a damphire and u wanna kill every other damphire. Badly. Plus, u feed on blood. And u wear latex and you die when touch water. So, basicly, you're a stinky readhead hoe who loves to butcher poor retarded sobs and lesbian asian bitches. It's just like your mum when she's having her PMS. Except, she might have more poly count if u know what I'm sayin. Also, there's this guy who keeps saying things like "Rayne this is a bad idea!", "Rayne, you know it's a trap." and "Rayne, would u mind sucking my cock through a straw?". Pretty ghey all in all. He never fooled me. Also, I fucked your mother.
Only fools and horses would love it - 3.47/10"
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Votes: 8
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Re: BloodRayne 2 (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Friday, September 16 @ 18:51:36 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | watch out MOFO, north korea has the bomb!!!
we all know what asians do when they get pissed, they mine uranium and build dirty barley weapons grade bombs and threaton to "push the button" only to have the button spring out in their face... have you ever bought shit that was made in china or korea? one time i bought some chinnese wind chimes and apperently whenever the wind blows they catch on fire and then explode in your eyes and give you sars. thats how fucking bad there shit is. do you want exploding chineese wind chimes? THEN DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT THE ASIANS or theyll use them as weapons of mass destruction on out asses but there to stupid to know that they have such a powerfull WMD so lets keep this out secret. |
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