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| Still Life | | Posted on Saturday, August 27 @ 22:12:05 EDT by Suislide |  Mean_MOFO writes "Adventure games! Remember those? Point and click somewhere, combine items, talk, use, open doors.. Oh, and eat shit. It looks that good adventure games are dying from a bad disease called "fuck that, I'm a do myself a FPS and make billions on that stupid fuck ass shit wipe mother fucker". Also, I raped your mother.
Graphics: Like I'd give a fuck anyways, but creators should learn from that. Don't fucking use protection! Don't overprotect your graphics! Oh.. they ain't that bad. They did fuck them up, but hey, they didn't fuck them up that bad. Animations suck though. They all look like they wanna grab my cock and spill the warm seed all over the walls. Wanna guess? Yeah, prerendered. Fuck, it's all prerendered. They could have fucking used a cool 2D hand drawned gfx but hey, fuck you all.
Sound:This shit sounds kind of like that. You wanna gag the fucking game. Voice actors suck their cocks while reading lines, especially that big black guy that acts like a fucking slave. Main bitch sounds like someone's humping her from behind and you keep expecting a big black fucker to pop out behind her in every scene. Never happens though.. So that sucked cos they dissapointed me! Then you cut your dick just a bit to bleed over her and bleed inside her pussaaay. Then smear all that shit and go to the next section.
Gameplay: This is probably the worst section in this fuck of a loop game. Fuck you and fuck my mother, but only after I'm done with her. You solve crimes. Fuck yea, crimes. You get to see a bunch of dead hookers and it kind of looks like something I do to every girl I rape. Puzzles suck so hard you'd rather fuck a bunch of sharp objects and bleed all over your sheets while sleeping. I mean, you have to be a genious to come up with puzzles like those. Genious, as in, completely fucking stupid. Puzzles have no logic, you actually have to guess combinations to pass to another butt fucking scene. Then swipe your cock and lift your nipples until they both harden. U also get to do some CSI (cock sucking inc) like shit. Since that is shit by itself, this is even more shit. Then smear it, all over your walls, all over your floor, all over your bed and all over your mother. She's into scat so fuck you. Ending sucks. Sucks like my sister sucks my dick. She uses her thong a lot while I play around her crack hole. Also, I don't have a sister, so I use yours instead.
Story: There was once a man that murdered and killed hoes and he, instead of being awarded, ended up being fucked in the ass by the whole world. This story blows cos it's a fucked up shit that smells worse than an open crap hole. You farts smell nicer. So basicly, you go around eating cocks and huge chunks of poop until you are satisfied and you also fuck dead hoes when no one's watching. You're a lesbo, just like your mum.
This game suxxed my bitch ass cock 2/10 Bite me."
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| Related Links | | | | Article Rating | | Average Score: 3.08
Votes: 12
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Re: Still Life (Score: 1)
by flaming_ass_packet on Monday, August 29 @ 16:22:17 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | still life was an album released by the ultimatly bad ass band known as opeth. the fact that some fucking computer fag who just discoverd farm house animal fucking via the internet made a game and named it this makes me want to stick my fist through some mexican babys. |
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Re: Still Life (Score: 1)
by Mean_MOFO on Monday, August 29 @ 19:57:17 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | In case anyone missed it. This review was edited. fuck yea, they censored me. Now it sucks cos they destroyed the whole point of the review. u know what im sayin, i'm artisticly deprived. |
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Re: Still Life (Score: 1)
by fhouse on Wednesday, August 31 @ 09:38:47 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | What's your fuckin' problem? It's a great game. What if pre Rendered? I don't give a fuck!!! The story is good, and there are some cool jokes hidden in the game.
The cutscenes are well made.
There are a few adventure games, and most of them suck ass like Jazz&Faust.
It's good to have a cool adventure game like this.
My rating 89/100 |
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Re: Still Life review? wtf where? (Score: 1)
by Daniel_Vanzant on Tuesday, September 06 @ 11:46:17 EDT
(User Info | Send a Message) | | seriously this is the worst fucking thing thats ever been posted. This Mofo fuck used up five paragraphs and the only thing i know about the fucking game is theres puzzles involved. He spent the entire review pretending to be Suislide or M0nkey. Mofo your not funny theres no funny here. |
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