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Nitro Family
Posted on Tuesday, August 17 @ 13:48:04 EDT by Suislide
FPS reviewsA FPS that uses the Serious engine so you think... yeah it has to be good, lots of guys and big guns. Well they like to fool you here and deliver you a fresh pile of steaming ass.

Graphics: The graphics arent too bad in some areas such as the weapon models which all look nice, and some of the character models look good like the big fucking retarded baby.. who the hell though of that? They should be slapped in the fucking teeth. But then some things look like complete ass in this game such as the LEVELS. They look boring and are basically big squares and blocks. It makes me wonder if there is some fag sitting at his desk that beats off to anime porn and says "you know what, i think if we made abunch of shit looking levels in the shapes of squares and rectangles my penis might grow an inch. OMG IM FUCKING STUPID." Also some of the character models and weapon models on those players look low poly and you can tell. Things are SQUARE instead of round. A SHOTGUN FUCKING BARREL ISNT SQUARE YOU CUNTS. Also the locations are all boring except for maybe one or two levels, but hell they even made las vegas boring and repetitve and look the same which is just amazing.


Sound: The speech is ok but who cares about that, what pisses me off is the crap music. Theres 5 STAGES with like 3 to 5 levels each and instead of having different music each level, they have one fucking song per stage. And on the first stage its the same 1 minutes of shit punk music playing over and over. STOP YOUR ARENT REBELLIOUS BY MAKING MUSIC FOR A GAME YOU FUCKING FAGS. Also alot of the shit sounds for the weapons seem to be 22khz which is annoying because then they sound muffled.


Gameplay: Ok theres only two things about the gameplay, its fun for about the first maybe 4 levels and you can have two different weapons out at once which kicks ass. So i can blow away a group of mexicans to left while shooting some hicks to the right with my submachine gun. And then you can upgrade these weapons to hold more ammo and make them more powerful or buy new weapons. SO THATS ALL YOU DO. IS SHOOT ABUNCH OF SHIT WITH THE SAME DAMN WEAPONS THE WHOLE GAME. Not to mention all the dumbass enemies are the same with like one line of AI to SHOOT AT YOU. I could fucking program a better AI than this in HTML which doesnt even make sense. Also when you do combos or take too much damage, you go into this thing that ill call "sex0r mode" You and your wife on your back moan and then everything goes in slow motion and classical music plays. Its ok sometimes BUT IT HAPPENS SO FUCKING MUCH i ripped my pubes out and glued them to my forehead. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? The gameplay is repetitive and annyoing.


Story: Some stupid company named Golden Bell which i guess makes drugs to make people happy takes your child to do experiments on them. BUT OH NO HE FUCKZ0RED WITH THE WRONG GUY and you go and get your child and kill him. Thats deep.


The game is boring and repetitive but you can hold two weapons 5/10

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Average Score: 4.33
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Re: Nitro Family (Score: 1)
by WouSa on Wednesday, August 18 @ 14:45:06 EDT
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yeah this game sucks ass
btw your site ownzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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Re: Nitro Family (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, August 23 @ 10:16:41 EDT
mother fucker fuck fuck fucken fuck fuck fucker fffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk


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Re: Nitro Family (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 07 @ 17:07:43 EDT
Waste of HDD space.

TRIVIA: Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead ETC) supplied the main charcter voice.


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