I know what you are thinking. Suislide?! Playing an RPG?!?! Are you fucking kidding me!? Yes i am. This game was surpisingly good. You may also wonder why i am reviewing it now and it is because i never had it before so yeah.
M0nkey says to put bologna in the microwave and then fuck it.
Graphics: The graphics in this game look damn good. Like someone just popped my testicles, im going out for a jog good. The textures all look nice and sharp when you are zoomed out, and the game runs great. But then you zoom in and it runs fucking terrible which doesnt fucking make sense. If i zoom in it should be fucking rendering less yet it runs shittier. WTF IS THAT?!? WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT. Anyways the graphics do look good but guess what! The enviornments are repetitive as that hunk of shit Halo. Ive been to the same looking castle place whatever the fuck it is atleast 80 times. Well its not actually the same place BUT IT LOOKS THE FUCKING SAME. The forests all look the same. The only difference between the forests is the shape of map. Woopty FUCKING DO!
Anyways back to the zooming in stuff. The textures on the characters look like poop filled ass when you are all the way zoomed up, but the enviorments still look good. All the particles look nice and sexy except for one thing. The ice spkies or some stupid ass RPG shit like that fall down from the ceiling. The point is those looked like shit too but overall the game looks good.
Sound: Yeah the game sounds good. The music is all classical and shit so dont except and good music in this game. Classical music sucks ass how can anyone like that, you fucking suck if you do. Anyways the speech is good except when they decide to just fucking stop talking in the middle of a conversation. What the fucking shit is that? I dont want to read, reading is for pussies. If you are reading this article you are a pussy. Also the people like to yell annoying shit when you are fighting. Such as i have this bitch ass whore henchmen named Linu. She yells something like "Spread my fucking twat open and shove your big sword up there." I was like wtf bitch were trying to kill guys here and you are trying to prostitute all up in his hizzy. So basically im saying the sound isnt too bad.
Gameplay: The gameplay is fucking addictive. I was playing this game for like 4 hours and i didn't even fucking know. Hell there was a tragedy that happened because of this game. I was trying to look at porn and play this game and also whack it all at the same time. Except i kind of fucked up so it squirted in my eye, and i went blind for 20 years. Basically im saying the gameplay is fun. You just click on the guys and your character attacks. Its also turn based so one guy attacks then its your turn. Most of the time you just run around to get like 3 fucking items and then kill a boss. It got uncreative after awhile. You can get like henchmens too like i previously stated. If you are other classes that a barbian (if you arent a barbarian you are gay) you can cast spells and shit, but spells are for pussies. Just like reading.
Story: The shit ass ghetto town of neverwinter has some plague going on. So now everyone has all sorts of STD's. You are the hero of neverwinter ( WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT) and you have to stop this gay ass plague and find out who is behind it. This story blows ass. I should get gordon freeman in this shit to do the "Shit Punch Toilet Throw 9000." Then we will see if that slut Lady Aribeth wants to save neverwinter. You know she is all over Lord Nasher's nuts.
Well slap my tits raw, rip them off, put them in a blender, add dog shit, blend it up, fill it with orange juice and drink. I dont know why i said that. Anyways ill just give this game a 8.5/10
