Dragon Age: Origins
Date: Wednesday, November 25 @ 19:24:55 EST
Topic: RPG Reviews


This is the best fucking RPG since Baldur's Gate II and will rock your dick off. Bioware not only hit the nail on the head, they took a sledge hammer and smashed the fuck nail through my brain. They claimed this game to be the spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate and, unlike Bioshock, they weren't fucking kidding in the slightest. This game uses it's own world and system but has many similarities to Baldur's Gate. The game provides a shit ton of gameplay, fun as combat, great characters, voice acting and dialog, and best of all! A shit ton of blood. Bioware are by far, the kings of making RPGs because this game is a fucking masterpiece. If you don't buy this game today you are a fucking worthless scumbag who probably deserves to get shit in his mouth.

Graphics: Now the graphics are actually the weakest part of the game but BARELY and it doesn't fucking matter because everything else makes up for it ten fold. The only problem with the graphics at all is there are SOME pretty low-resolution textures in certain places, they can be noticeable but it barely matters. The rest of the game is absolutely fucking gorgeous in every possible way. One of the best looking parts of the game is Denerim and the Alienage. They are just massive in scale of the buildings and the textures and art design are fucking beautiful looking. The detail provided in these levels is simply amazing. Pretty much all of the cities such as Lothering and the Dwarven city are huge and absolutely jaw-dropping in the graphics area. Whoever did the art-design for this game deserves a serious fuck from the hottest chick on the planet. Another great part is the animations in this game are fantastic. This game has some of the best fucking death scenes which gives me a huge erection. The combat is actually animated at the speed they swing and hits will actually be shown, actually see the characters blocking when it happens, and it is completely fluid looking. Let's not forget the fantastic death scenes this game provides where you will jump ontop of an ogre and stab his fucking face off. Or if you defeat a dragon, jumping on their head and cutting their head off while they swing you around with blood flying everything. There is also plenty of decapitations and other animations for when you kill these enemies and they look fantastic. The best part is that your characters are always covered in blood after they kill a group of enemies. The battles are also pretty large scale, espeically when you get to the end, you LITERALLY are viewing 25 to 50 characters all battling on screen at once.

The character models are also fantastic, I jerked off to Morrigan and came all over her digital tits. Of course, there was no digital-boobage but I used my imagination. The character models that join you are all unique and stand out well from their environment. The armor and weapons are all extremely detailed as well and look fucking fantastic when you get a full set of armor going. Save for the shitty textures this game looks great, the animations are top notch, character models are unique and varied enough, the environments are large, detailed and fucking gorgeous looking. The interface is also great and is clearly tailored towards the PC.


Sound: The voice acting and dialog in this game makes my nipples twirl with glee. Every character you encounter has absolutely quality voice acting and it shows that they actually put some work into it. The characters actually display their emotion with their voice and doesn't sound like they hired Tara Reid to do some acting. On top of that, the dialog is pure quality. The inter-party banter is some the best as getting the right group of people together. Morrigan and Alistar's arguing with each other is comedy fucking gold. Pretty much Morrigan insulting the rest of your party is always quality and the rest of the party comments on it as well. Not only that, but based upon your relationships with other people and the choices you make in the world, the inter-party banter will change. Throw on top of this, some of the best fucking music in a video game ever and you have some quality sound. The combat sounds are also great with the musical score that kicks ass and clashing and ambient sounds filling the air as you destroy punk-ass darkspawn. The audio department in this game screams quality from every angle.


Gameplay: This is some of the best fucking gameplay in existence as it oozes with quality, fun, depth and pretty much everything else that makes video games great. First, the combat in this game is ACE. It's not that simple bullshit combat you expect from most games...it's actually hard, requires tactics and to think about it...and even then you may still get your ass kicked. The game hearkens back to the style of Baldur's Gate where you have a top down view of the battlefield and can control each of your party members in this same style. Every battle is a tough one but when you beat them all and live, it feels more rewarding then burying that hooker you accidentally choked a little too hard. You can set up ambushes, use tanks, sneak around and pretty much everything. The battles actually require you to come up with a plan to actually beat the enemies. It brings me back to the BG style and fills me with hope that video games can be complicated once again. There is also the tactics menu which allows you to tailor the AI of your characters to react to different situations. Fuck that thing, I just micromanage my party because I'm a man. The combat in this game just feels absolutely perfect and is a blast.

The game itself lasts well over 50 hours and took me sixty to complete. It's about time a game actually takes some fucking time to beat. I'm tired of all these 20 hour RPGs. The best part of that? Most of that time is spent on the main quests...side quests are only a small part of the game compared to the entire story line. No more Mass Effect bullshit where the game can be beaten in under 10 hours. The side quests are also pretty detailed as well with plenty of events that can surround them and some of the side quests even affect the ending of the game. The world is just absolutely filled with detailed. The inventory system is a collective system which you can purchase upgrades for. There is levels of influence you have among your companions, which can be negative and positive and they can hate or like you more based on your actions. When they like you more, they get bonuses to their character and will reveal more detail and story to you.

The Inventory system and equipment system are also similar to baldurs gate in that you can equip swords, helmet, armor, boots, belts, rings and amulet...in the exact same style. The inventory is easy to manage and is a collective system which you can upgrade. Also, the gold in this game is made up of gold, coppers and silvers to discern among the different amounts of money you have. There is also abunch of different skills your characters can have from herbalism, trap making, additional tactics, stealing and other such things. You also get all different feats which you can make your character kick a shit ton of ass with different melee moves, spells or other such bullshit. The character creation is also great in this game as you can customize every feature of your character and unlike Oblivion, you can actually make them look awesome. There is three main classes which consist of rogue, warrior, and mage but these are all subdivided based upon race, specializations of the class and all the feats you choose. Everything about this gameplay is extremely detailed and shit ton of fun. The combat is absolutely tough and completley satisfying in every way, characters can all be created completely uniquely and the interface is absolutely perfect.


Story: The story in this game is absolutely fucking epic. Every race and character has their own origin story to how they get recruited to the Gray Wardens which is fantastic. Anyways, there is a shit ton of betrayal all over the place and a ton of blood. The darkspawn are attacking with a stupid ass blight, and you have to kick their ass but you need allies as abunch of people are dying, while some other lords are starting a civil war. Anyways, the story in this game kicks fucking ass and is pretty damn dark. Another nice part is that many of the companions play an integral role and can affect how the story turns out. Every character has some depth to them and the more your companions trust you, the more depth into their own personal story they will go into.

There is also abunch of smaller stories going on throughout the game which keep it interesting throughout the whole game. Finally Bioware actually creates an ending which is conclusive and tells you what the fuck is going on. The story in this game is interesting from the beginning and only gets darker as you go on. And finally Bioware implements some choices where there is a ton of gray area. You sometimes never feel like you are making the right choice and actually have to think about your actions, unlike Mass Effect where you can either be a goody-two-faggot-shoes or evil as me.

Buy this game right now or you are an awful human being. This is the best RPG in existence since Baldur's Gate II. 10/10





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