So there I was, playing abunch of good old games because there really hasn't been anything good to come out lately. Then Damnation hits the shelves and I check out some screenshots and ok, maybe not the best game but it should be at least a small generic third person shooter. However this game is far from generic. The real title of this game should be abomination because it's probably one of the biggest fucking crapfest's this side of the pacific. I felt like I had just reached my eternal damnation from playing this fucking blood covered abortion of a game. God damn, It's so fucking bad it makes you wonder if anyone play tested this piece of shit and then thought OH MY GOD, We created the shittiest fucking worst game on the planet...because they did...they have accomplished it.
Graphics: When I started this game up the first thing I thought, OH SHIT TIME WARP because it felt like I was back in 2001 and my trusty playstation 2 was chugging out these graphics. Then I realized this was 2009 and graphics like these were unfucking acceptable. I felt this game was just puking its giant 2-color palette into my eyes the entire time. Seriously, this game uses exactly 2 colors and those are brown and gray. Fuck...get my old CGA computer to render this turd. So the game takes place in alternate universe civil-war era with abunch of steampunk shit thrown in for...well who fucking knows why they probably just wanted to create a niche. First thing first, the environments, level design, models, art design, and textures all fucking suck dick. You traverse each level in it's shitty red goodness and descend some brown poopy rocks the whole fucking game. All the levels have the same shades of red, and brown and you will just battle through wondering when the fuck the game is going to look any different. Every single fucking environment is EXACTLY the same..you can't even tell the game progressed sometimes because it's horrid. The textures are blurrier than Jimi Hendrix's vision when he was busying choking on his vomit. They are so fucking low resolution you will be thinking oh shit...Half-Life One is back. The models are basically all big fucking chunky blocks. The main characters look a little bit different from each other at least because the enemies don't look any fucking different at all. You will constantly shoot the same guys over and over and FUCKING SURPRISE the animations are fucking horrid too. Enemies make NO REACTIONS when you shoot the shit out of them and then fall like a brick when they die. Seriously, it's like shooting a fucking plank of wood that magically dissapears when it dies. Not to mention, there is a shit ton of clipping issues especially on the motorcycle levels. I will be taking off on my motorcycle without the partner guy because they are useless then all the sudden fucking BLAM, he teleports on the motorcycle clipping through part of it. Great fucking job guys. So if the shit animations, models, textures, and levels weren't enough...they fucking did it to me again...they rendered cutscenes with the in-game engine that looks WORSE THAN THE FUCKING GAME. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU ARE ALL FUCKING RETARDED, SHOULD BE FIRED, AND STARVE TO DEATH AS RODENTS EAT YOUR FAMILY. If you are going to make a cut-scene don't use the in-game engine then save it as a low-resolution low-bit rate file that looks like shit. Fucking shit of that shit, it's pathetic. The graphics in this game are steam-punk vomit.
Sound: Oh my butt-fucking Allah...the sound is complete crap. First off, the gun-shots sound like a spring-loaded BB gun which is sad. Nothing has any pop to it, nothing stands out..just bland tinny gunshots and weapon firing which is all crap. As a nice surprise the dialog and voice acting are also complete shit. This is one of those games where the partners and cut-scenes are spewing out all this dialog but you are so uninterested because it's the most boring shit to grace this planet so you end up just falling asleep into a diabetic coma until you decide to skip the cutscene. Seriously, who the hell hired these voice actors because they are worse than b-rated voice actors...Everyone in the game sounds like a giant douche bag. It also sounds like the same guy is trying to impersonate multiple people and failing hard. They characters talk about all this jumping stuff and steam punk stuff, and shit going on in the world but is just so uninteresting you just don't give a shit. Also, the music sucks too.
Gameplay: This is where the game really starts to rock. And by starts to rock, I mean you will be trying to smash your skull in with a rock to erase the painful memories this game has lavish into your brain. First of all the combat is pathetic in all aspects. You firing all your guns at enemies and they all feel like they have absolutely NO power to them. Infact, I think when I shot someone, the enemies got stronger because the weapons were so weak. Seriously, you have a pistol, machine gun, some heavy gun, and a sniper rifle at your disposal and all of them feel clunky as shit and like they have no effect on your faggy steam punk styled enemy. As previously stated, the enemies have absolutely no reaction to being shot and just fall over dead. The AI is fucking pathetic too as they literally just fucking stand there. They must all have broken legs or cement shoes because it's fucking bad. There are a million enemies on the motorcycle levels but you might as well just drive right fucking past them because they won't hit you and they sure as fuck don't chase after you. So after that, the main thing about this game is VERTICAL GAMEPLAY. HOLY SHIT UPWARDS GAMEPLAY FUCK YEAH..YOU GOT ME SUCKED IN..WHAT IS IT? It's a fucking shallow version of the jumping we see in tomb raider and POP and that's IT. Take those two games and just keeping jumping, and shimmying across edges and POOF, you have the gameplay in this game. After a painstakingly long introduction the camera will span across each level showing you where to go. It really doesn't fucking matter as it's completley linear and you just jump from one ledge to the next in some really boring ass jumping puzzles. There is no vertical gameplay here, just shitty ass jumping puzzles that no one cares about. This game started out as a modification apparently and it should have fucking stayed that way. It's a fucking awful turd.
Story: The story is some cunt invented some steam punk styled weapons which ended up proloning the civil war in the US. So you have to go and fucking do something that I didn't give a shit about because the cut scenes did NOTHING to hold my interest. It is an alternative universe where the US landscape is all fucked up and apparently the civil war is being kept going by some turd who is selling weapons...I don't know...the story is fucking totally uninteresting. Honestly, why the fuck would they choose such a generic rehashed plot is hard to say. What a pathetic game.
The only time this game ever became vertical is when I launched it off the skeet shooter, right before it came into contact with a 12gauge 0/10
