Video Games Suck - Pro Evolution Soccer 2009

Okay so like every autumn we've got a new PES game upon us. But is it really a PES 2009 or is it more likely a PES 2008,5 or a PES 2008,1? Not even close, it's a PES 2008,01 because it virtually brings no innovation and almost nothing new to PES 2008, except the Become a Legend mode (similar to Be a pro in FIFA) which I will later discuss in the article.

Graphics

Really nothing to talk about in here, it's the the same as in PES 2008. The only real change I could see is that the animations are now more fluid, which is a plus, but a very small plus. The design in the menus is neat, but who wants menus when we all only want simple fucking football! But about the menus, they are again the consolistic types, arcadish crap that we've gone used to. Why don't they enable mouse controll when you play the goddamn game and why motherfucking fuck why don't they provide support for us people who play the game with that mystic, unusual and secretive thing called KEYBOARD?! Maybe design some training tutorials in which they explain the keyboard controlls to you so that you can drible and do tricks easily like on a controller. Nope, it's just you either have a controller or die. We don't care says Konami.

Sound

Sound in PES means two things: menu music and commentary. The songs in the soundtrack of the game are good, the soundtrack is above average. Though the thing that I don't understand is why the hell do the songs have to change everytime you enter a new gameplay mode. We want to spend as little time possible in the arcadish crap menus so please atleast play a full song and don't interrupt. Anyway...

Gameplay

Okay so the gameplay is the same. Absolutely the same. If you've played the demo you know that the matches are the same as in PES 2008, with minor adjustments of course, but too small to even consider.

What we've got new though is that Konami purchased the rights for the UEFA Champions League for the next few years so we've got a new game mode named "UEFA Champions League". It's the same as every cup you play in, but you've got a Champions League video to watch and Champions League design stuff to see. That's about it.

The second thing that they brought to the game is the new ode Become a Legend. It is similar to Be a Pro in FIFA, only that it's a little better. To play as only one player is an exciting idea to the PES series and it really sounds like tons of fun.

You basically create your own player and then you play for a team. You begin the game 17 and you end it 35. The only problem is: who the fuck could be so chronically fucking bored to play that many seasons? It's really not fun to play Become a Legend, it is dull and repetitive, the AI sucks and in this mode you rely very much on the AI. As a striker you rely on the midfield to create chances for you so that you can score right? Well what if the midfield is total puke and they only create 1 or 2 chances a game which by the way you miss because at 17 your stats are crap. What fun is it to watch every and every game how you teammates hopelessly loose possession with the same mistakes over and over again and how choice restricted the AI is because your teammates always play the same! Also, the most retarded thing for me in this mode was to see that always and always, ALWAYS my player got subbed in the 60th minute or + for every goddamn fucking game. Every game! Reason: only Konami and the God of videogames know.

Conclusion

So to wrap it up, I think that this game should be called Pro Evolution Soccer 2008,01 for the fact that Konami (and EA especially) serve us the same crap every year without putting any real effort into the games and only changing superficial stuff like soundtracks and menus.

Since I'm kind I'll give this game a 6.9, but for the laziness of Konami I can only give a 0,1, the same very effort they put on top of PES 2008 to make this "game" that is smaller even than an add-on. Smaller than a patch actually! An add-on is much bigger than this crap! Patch is the perfect word for this shit!

So for a patch of PES 2008 (PES 2008,01) I'll give this game a 6.9

But for a real game as it is presumed to be (PES 2009) I'll give this steaming pile a 0,1.