So here is a game I was anticipating as a cool RPG with somewhat open game play. However, what I got was a completely mediocre game using a dated engine that fucking pisses me off. Here you play Geralt, a witcher, who is sloppy bitch in a game with a mediocre story and atmosphere.
Graphics: So everyone knows that this game is used that dated piece of shit known as the Aurora Engine that Bioware came out with back in 2002 with the release of Neverwinter Nights. Of course though they updated the renderer completely so the game doesn't look like a pile of puke on my screen. So the game sports a variety of environments from cities, to forests and then other grassy fields and swamps. The environments aren't that great looking and basically bore the crap out of me. The outdoor fields are nice and somewhat open with shit to explore, however the city is one big blob of boring repetitive textures that don't look that great. The character models at least well done and have distinct differences between them. There is some of that repetitious bullshit where more than one of the characters appears over and over but atleast it makes the city actually seem lively. Yes there is actually stuff in the city so it doesn't seem like a fucking ghost town. However, the animations are really piss poor shitty and they repeat OVER AND OVER for every damn character. Every single person you talk to in this game will do the faggot wrist-twists hand motion thing. If you've played the game you know what I'm talking about. Put some more god damn animations in. Atleast some of the environments are somewhat large with some boring caves and other areas to explore. The fighting animations also get pretty damn boring and repetitive as well. They seem cool at first until you see Geralt do the same damn moves constantly. It's more repetitive then lesbian porno, we know you like eating each other out, DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR ONCE. The graphics basically are mediocre, it doesn't look spectacular, has its moments, and can look like pure boring shit in places. At least this game has boobies in it.
Sound: Ok this is actually a positive part of the game. There is actually some decently written dialog that can be somewhat interesting at points. Some characters are just damn annoying like that god damn Cockstein guy. He looks like a fucking monkey and chokes on the dick daily and its getting old. Anyways the rest of the characters are actually somewhat well voice-acted and the dialog is pretty good. Another positive part is they aren't afraid to add in swearing, I'm sick of the pussy ass lack of swearing shit so at least the Witcher actually gets that right. The music is pretty good as well and starts pumping when I'm hacking apart some fuckers. So overall the sound is pretty well done
Gameplay: The combat in this game SUCKS. It sucks more than a prostitute on cocaine. It sucks more then the vacuum cleaner on my dick. It sucks more than a homosexual at a gay bar. The combat is so utterly lame in this game and is about as complex as taking a nap. So basically you click to start attacking, then when it says to click again you do it, then it does some combo bullshit that does more damage as you click. It is the most LAME combat system ever. You can also switch weapon types and stances based on what type of enemies you are fighting. Sometimes you might have to use the strong stance! Or sometimes the fast stance! OR OMG THE FUCKING GROUP STANCE for alot of enemies. Yeah, its that awful. The worst fucking part is switching between the stances, Geralt takes 300 fucking years to do it and you are get the piss beat out of you in the mean time. The leveling up system though is half decent as you get points (bronze, silver, gold) as you level up to put into different ranks of abilities and the higher you get, you get silver and gold points to put into your abilities and kick some ass. There is also alchemy and potions that can be crafted in the game as well to make some boring shit, not to mention mutagens can be used to get certain abilities you normally couldn't. So then you have to run around the city and other various areas completing quests to advance the game obviously. There is also mini games such as dice poker game that you can do as well but its freaking useless until you get into the large amounts of cash. I guess this is a good time to mention the load times in this game FUCKING SUCK. Oh loading a save game, or saving a game, or changing area? Well go make yourself a fucking sandwich and start filing your taxes because you'll have plenty of time to spare aftwars. Shit, why not catch a movie and by the time you come back it could be done. The load times in this game are fucking HIDEOUS in every single aspect and it really hurts the game. Atleast the game has a somewhat more realistic feel to it as the same people aren't always in the same place. They are mixed around the city based upon the time of the day. The game can be kind of fun following the story and doing all the quests. It feels like you are on a big quests and there is also plenty to do in this game to keep you occupied for a long time. The game is atleast 40 hours long minimum which is good because I'm sick of all these damn short games. Some of the characters you can meet are also interesting and are sometimes worth a listen. However, one of the most useless features of the game is trying to score with these chicks. You have sex with a woman then you get a card, and thats fucking it. Gotta collect em all? What the fuck you get nothing for it besides occasionally seeing some boobies. Other than that the game is allright.
Story: The story in this game is pretty decent. Some douche bag breaks into the witchers home and steals some of your secrets for his own stupid purposes. Anyways, you chase him down and through a series of shit you can make choices on what to do and thus change the outcome of the game ever so slightly. There is also some twists and turns and it turns out the leader of the Flaming Rose is the real guy responsible. OH SHIT SPOILED IT AGAIN? Don't you feel like a fucking idiot? Anyways the story is pretty good and can be interesting.
Good story, good dialog, shitty shitty load times and combat 7/10
