Holy shit...You know a game is bad when you are installing it and it requires Microsoft .Net V1.1. I should have stopped installing right then and pissed on the disc but I didn't.... I pushed on...and what the fuck was I thinking. This is the worst console port of the most terrible game ever...I hope my HIV kicks in a bit sooner because this game has just ruined life for me.
Graphics: Apparently some cuntsmack obviously thinks the Renderware engine is still something good to use. I want to beat the shit out of that guy and take a dump down his throat. This game looks like a fucking garbage first generation playstation 2. The environments are small gay tropical little islands..with lame details and gay jumping puzzles that are all designed like shit. Honestly, you will go in tombs to outside again but its all a blur of low-resolution low-poly vagina smegma. The enemies all look lame as hell...Holy shit monkies and fucking pirates all look like generic pirate shit. Basically this game looks like I was beamed back about eight years ago because its fucking ugly.
Sound: Hell fucking yeah...here I thought Doom3 had somewhat crappy sound for using shitty 22khz sound files...well this game takes the sound a fucking notch lower with 11khz shit sounding files! Hell yeah! Lets not forget the average crappy jungle/tropical music that all sounds the same fucking playing in the background while you try not to attempt suicide while playing this fucking llama dick of a game. The sound sucks...same sounds for all the enemies play over and over...same sounds for all sword swings...It fucking sounds like complete horse shit.
Gameplay: Holy fucking shit...so you are some gay pirate who collects gay treaure...like golden dildos because this game fucking takes it up the ass. So you gather this gay shit and then run around doing lame ass jumping puzzles to get to it...the puzzles are the fucking easiest thing to do by the way...Then after you collect the treaure sometimes you get these gay powers to turn into things such as the fucking stupid BLACK BUCCANEER. Basically you turn into a retarded demon with down syndrome to help you solve more of the puzzles to get more stupid treasure and do some stupid quests. The AI of course is the generic run at you and attack shit...the combat is fucking lame...You swing your sword and thats about it. Just fucking click away on that mouse and the enemies will fall while you hardly lose any health because its so damn easy. Besides the whole game you fight fucking pirates and monkies because it sucks dick. Seriously the monkies take more than one shot with your gun. Fuck that... If I shot a monkey in the face with my gun his brain is going to be splattered all over the ground while I cum all over his corpse. In conclusion, generic lame ass jumping puzzles mixed together with stupid quests and awful combat.
Story: I don't know what the hell the story is besides you have some stupid evil treasure. I honestly couldn't play this game more than a half hour because it was so completley shitty.
This game is the biggest pile of shitty dick smegma ever 0/10
