El Matador - A game that tries to be a max payne rip off.... except leaves out on the good gameplay and good story. The only thing that is left is lame repetive action. Sounds fucking exciting!
Graphics: The graphics in this game are suprisingly pretty damn good looking with a sort of far cry style to them. The enviornments are quite expansive and have a decent bit of detail to them. The shitty thing is the envionrments may look incredibly large but the game is a linear hunk of shit and you basically follow a straight path so however expansive the enviornments may look at certain points you cant even go there at all. However it does look pretty damn good. The character models aren't that bad but its basically the enviornments them selves which look the best. Also it makes quite a bit of use of shadows which help to add to the good graphics. You can go through various places like some shitty factories, or a boat, or an old burned out building and the jungle! Talk about original fucking enviornments! Going to places never been explored before! Seriously why does every single game have to have a broken down building (fear, max payne and now this). The Textures are nice on most of the levels and decently high res. The models for the characters arent anything special but theres a decent variety of them although they are probably just the same model reskinned to look different. The levels themselves are decently detailed with machines, furniture, and tables and stuff but some of the hallways can look bland and empty but for the most part its ok. The pixel shaders on the water look pretty damn good and the game runs pretty smoothly. So basically the graphics are pretty damn good looking save for the fact the envionrments they chose are stupidly overused.
Sound: The sound is just fucking annoying with its lame ass repetitive EXTREME techno track. Every time you engage in some sort of fight the techno starts pumping and you get fucking annoyed because the same 2 minute track of techno repeats throughout the entire fucking game. Who the hell wants a techno soundtrack anyways... the point is the music just plain sucks the left nut in this game. The voice acting is also completley garbage and whoever wrote the dialouge should invest a career of sucking dick. The dialouge is just plain awful with your character spouting stupid fucking one-liners and then the enemies saying the same damn 3 phrases that were recorded over and over until you want to fucking shoot your brains out. THe other characters in the game also have completley lame voice-acting, they all seem to talk in a montone way. The weapon sounds and explosions are about the only saving feature of the sound in this game as voice-acting, dialouge, and the music suck the left nut of my mother.
Gameplay: So the game tries to be a gigantic max payne rip off by letting you dive in bullet time or just walk around shooting in bullet time. The rest of the controls are just run around and jump and the same baisc shit in every game. So you can go in bullet time and shoot abunch of retarded AI enemies. The AI is completley fucking lame. All the enemies act like a fucking autisic lemming running towards. But surpisingly some hide behind cover.... and just sit there and sometimes pop out and shoot but still just staying in one spot. The AI in this game seriously makes even women look smart (but we all know they aren't). The bosses are espcially easy as they sit in one fucking spot in the open and fire at you. I just put it in bullet time, run up to a boss and fire at him point blank until he dies. WOW talk about fucking difficult! This game is easy as shit not only do the shitty AI but there is a shitload of health and armor vests everywhere. The gunfighting isnt bad and can be fun at times shooting barrels and diving around blowing away guys. After awhile though it gets extremely repetitive. Seriously, every level you play you just shoot abunch of shitheaded enemies then you go kill a boss guy who is extremely easy.... every level. Not to mention the game is short , probably shorter than max payne 2. Hell it might even be shorter than this midget girl at a freakshow who i laughed at. In total it probably took me about 4 hours to beat and possibly less. So the action can be fun but it gets old as you do the same shit every level. One good thing though is there a huge plethora of weapons from miniguns, rocket launchers, dual pistols, dual uzis, aks, and other assult rifles and sub machine guns. The bad part is after about level 2 you will probably just use the same fucking weapon throughout the whole game (espcially because thats all they give you ammo for. The UZIs are complete feces as you fire and they miss fucking EVERYTHING. They are the most unaccurate useless fucking waste of a weapon in this game. Not to mention the shotgun seems to have a ridiculous spread even at a close range. So you will end up most likely using only the assult rifles. Now the gameplay can be fun all the way through if you play in small doses and it might even make the game seem longer.
Story: The story is some god awful drug tale thats totally predictable. You are some guy from america sent to columbia for no reason to stop some drug shit. So you kill some drug lords and then you suck a fat dick. After you finish sucking a fat dick you realize the police chief betrayed you and wants the drugs. So you kill him in one of the lamest boss battles ever (it takes place on the side of a ship WOOO) and then it ends. Booooooooooooooring.
So the gameplay can be fun in small doses, the graphics are good, but its short as hell and gets fucking repetive and has a lame story and sound. 5/10
