Wow someone finally decided to use a theme thats barely been touched. Hoo Fucking Rah. Thank god its not world war 2. This is about the best damn western game you can buy but it has some slight shitty parts.
Graphics: So this is about the only game in the world to ever use the Chrome engine.... besides Chrome... which really doesn't matter all that much because that game sucked the fattest of dicks. So the graphics in this game are pretty damn impressive. The environments are mostly desert.... it’s a fucking western so what the hell else do you except. And they look pretty damn good with huge expansive environments and towns that blend right into country. It’s basically like a slightly shittier looking oblivion but it still looks damn good. And Holy shit you can see your legs, however crappily animated it is. For the most part the models, towns and country side are all well done and look just like a western. There are expansive environments with trees and shit and some brush and shit all over the ground. Also for some reason there seems to be a lot of shit on the ground. These people must have a fetish for the good ol cleveland steamer or maybe they enjoying doing anal when the girl has just taken a dump.. Who knows? The point is the graphics look pretty damn with how expansive the environments are. The only problem is the character animations for your character. You apparently can only move the lower half of your body and when you lean left or right your entire fucking body goes with you. Someone fucked up on those animations big time. The only other possible complaint could be when you get close to the rocks they look like anal lube..... hmm another reference these guys must seriously love anal... So yeah the graphics are damn nice.
Sound: The music was all fine and shit with its classical score. Also it gets more intense during firefights blah blah same shit everywhere. The dialogue is all fine and can sometimes be funny like when some mexican is talking about licking the rim of a donkey’s ass to find some pesos that got stuck to its ass. Maybe that’s not actually what it said but who gives fuck because that’s what im saying he said. The dialogue is all fine, music is nice and fits the game well.... the only thing I could possibly say is that there is like a total of 3 voice actors. A white hick, some chach mexican mother fucker they picked up off the street, and some whore. These 3 voice actors seem to be put to use on every character so you may see two whites talking or maybe a chach and some guy. Point is it needed more variation. The gunshots all sound nice with ricocheting bullets and other diarrhea like that. So the sound is decent... just hire some more fucking voice actors...
Gameplay: This is the best part of the game but also the worst. So you play as two characters... Billy, the shit-headed teenager who is too retarded to do anything and everyone hates him and they should because he’s a shit-head. But then you get to play as the Reverend who is bad ass mother fucker. This guy would shoot a mans knees out, suck his dick, then tell him it tastes awful, spit sperm in his eyes then kill him. The Billy parts of the game you do more sneaking around because he’s a pussy and can take like 2 hits before he dies. So most of the time you are sneaking around as him and just at the end he finally kills like 3 people with a stupid bow and arrow.... Playing the stupid sneaking parts was annoying and lame. Who the hell wants to sneak through the bushes past a bunch of chachs when you can blow their nut sack off and feed it to them for stealing your job? So Billy is the more sneaking around adventure type gameplay. He has a whip which you can use to swing on branches and climb shit.... this is biggest pitfall of the game... the sneaking is not only really easy... it’s incredibly boring... There is set paths for you to go so you can’t just sneak around anywhere you have to follow their stupid fucking path which makes it easy. Also half the hiding spots you hide behind anyone could easily see you but the guys in this game are hicks so I guess I could see why. Playing as Billy sucks ass.... he blows and no one fucking likes him. The Reverend on the other hand is the more action oriented part of the game. He comes and doesn’t take anybodies shit. He doesn't have time for that bullshit sneaking around and hiding from people. He walks into a town and caps some bitches, rapes two girls in the ass at once, then burns the town down. Playing as him fucking ROCKS. You can wield dual pistols with each button firing each weapon and it’s fucking great. Blasting apart people and blowing away their cover is just great. There is a huge multitude of pistols you can use from but you need to keep switching otherwise they can blow up in your hand. You also can have shotguns and rifles which is nice added touch to help blow people away. The gun-play in this game is fun as hell and perfectly done. The enemies don’t suffer from the same retardation syndrome as with Billy (but maybe Billy spreads retard like Ebola). They will hide behind cover and blow your cover down if it comes to it. That’s when you wield a pistol and a hand cannon to blow their shit apart then fill that shithead with 45 caliber bullets. If it comes to it you can use concentration mode in which case it goes into bullet time and two crosshairs for each pistol go across the screen pass the enemies and you can blows away like 5 guys without them bitches touching you. Also you can do the good ol quick shot to fill people with lead. Billy Sucks ass. The Reverend is fun as hell and just plain kicks the shit out of anything.
Story: Billy is a faggot. No one likes him because he’s a faggot. So you go back home after looking for Juarez’s gold but you couldn’t find it because you are such a faggot. At the town you start some shit right in the middle of a blowjob and you run away crying instead of killing the guys and receiving the blowjob. So you run to your parents’ farm like a little bitch you are and it turns out their dead. Someone reports to the reverend and he had enough of your shit and wants your ass dead for being such a huge faggot. The story is decent and has a twist or two but everyone hates Billy.
The game is kick ass with the reverend but Billy just sucks so much ass.... 7.5/10
