Pariah
Date: Sunday, May 15 @ 10:21:07 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


Holy god... thats right another shit piece of software released by a shit company. GROOVE GAMES man... have they ever made a bad game? Yes, infact every single game they have made is awful and i found they are keeping the tradition by releasing the garbage that is Pariah.

Graphics: Ok lets just start with the cutscenes in the game because thats the first thing you see. Even though i was running it at 1280x1024 with 4xAA the cutscnes look like they fucking timewarped me back to 1996 when people still used 320x240. Holy fucking god there is so many jagged lines in the cutscenes because of the piece of shit that is bloom. So then it gets in the game and it doesn't look too bad and it runs quite well. They use bump mapping in a lot of places but if you walk around you notice many shit things.... The fucking rails are diamonds. What the fuck is that, doom 3 has near round railings and so do many other games... so why does this game use a low poly shit version of it. Not to mention there is quite a few low resolution textures around. Why the fuck do companies do this? What fucking retarded thing goes through your mind that you develop a game for XBOX first and then port it to PC. Thats exactly what this game looks like.... shitty interface as well. Its incredibly stupid that they fucking develop the game on a PC then just use the shit console texutures in it. Parts look ok and other parts look like pure shit. Atleast they have a somewhat large outdoor enviornment. There are parts were the walls will crumble but the only time it happens is pre-defined on some various posts and such. How fucking stupid... red faction from fucking ages ago does this 100 times better.


Sound: The voice acting made me want to dig my fucking ear drums out with a knife. My god its so utterly terrible. First of all the character that you are sounds like hes choking on a fat dick. All the other characters have THE dumbest fucking dialouge EVER possible in a game. "You know how to play poker doc? Because were going to FLUSH you out." Do you know how to write decent dialouge writers? Because I'm about to fucking kill myself because of your terrible writing. The gun sounds and explosions are nothing too interesting either but they dont sound that bad.


Gameplay: Why did they even make this game? Why? Its utterly terrible. First of all... ALL THE GUNS SUCK. ALL OF THEM. The bonesaw the first weapon you get you will NEVER EVER need to use it. The sub-machine gun is a boring piece of crap tied along with a nice consolish crosshair thats bigger that what it should be. Its basically saying SHOOT SOMEWHERE IN THIS LARGE CIRCLE. The grenade launcher, shotgun, they all fucking suck. Then there is the vehicles. Holy mother of dead cunt flops do they suck. You have to control the direction of the vehicle with the mouse and it such an incredibly LAME way to control. Who the hell thought of that? Why the hell cant i drive with the keyboard and shoot with the mouse like oh say a little game called UT2K4 which you are using the fucking engine from. Oh yeah and there was this awesome part where a motorcycle looking piece of crap is coming twoards me and im ready grenade launcher in hand. Well Apparently my grenades must be in another physical state besides solid because they went right through the fucking motorcycle MULTIPLE times. I even reloaded the game and tried it again just to make sure and it seems the only way i could hit it was from the side. AWESOME JOB GROOVE GAMES. I wish every game had hit detection like that.


Story: In the beginning shitty cutscene you are escorting some skank who slept around with abunch of men and got some VD. So you guys put her into statis until you could find a care. Well when transporting her OH NOES your piece of crap completley unguarded transport goes down without any resistance! Sweet thats an excellent way to transport a patient. Then she gets stolen and you have to go find her but then OH NOES a conspiracy against you or her for some lame reason. Its really quite stupid.

Dear Groove games, please stop making games. I know you guys try very hard but in the end everything you make because a huge pile of sperm covered garbage. For the sake of humanity and everything else just please go out of business. 4/10





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